Reality Check

Good Morning,

Sorry for the delay in posting. I must admit I'm not happy with myself at this point. I have not lost as much weight as i wanted to, and it seems like i keep making horrible decisions. I had a recent conversation with some friends about accountability. Its my belief that you have to be accountable for yourself, you can not blame others for the mistakes and decisions you make. The only person you can blame is yourself. This week has been a major reality check for me. I have made some horrible eating decisions and im really pissed with myself. i said i would give full disclosure on everything so here it goes.  When i got off work Friday i was feeling amazing, i had money in my pocket, bills were paid, and it was Friday. My good friend, and Angel-wannabe Allison was in town from New York. My good friend and Original Olive Garden Gangsta, Sherri was here from New Orleans. I knew this was gonna be a rough weekend for me to stay on course. It all started after i picked up some dry-cleaning, which was two months old. They always give me a look like they hate me when i pick it up, but it saves on closet space..think about it. I came home and tried on a shirt and jeans i hadn't worn in three months, they were so loose, i was extremely proud of myself. Like a crack head, i went to the JR food mart and picked up some crack, White powder donuts and chocolate milk.  Just like a crack-head I was at the counter nervous and shaking, constantly looking around praying that i would see anybody who reads my blogs or knows me. As soon as i handed him the cash like Tyrone Biggums i was like " put it in a bag man, put it in a bag." I walk out of the gas station with the crack clinched to me like a 96 year-old woman with her purse waiting on a bus in Compton. I sat there in my car thinking over and over about this horrible choice i made. Even though it was probably the best taste in the world, it tasted and felt horrible going down. I was beyond ashamed. I slowly got over it, and got back on the right track, so i thought. Later that night we went out to eat. I did well i had some pesto chicken with no pasta, substitute extra green beans. I even ate Ashlee's left over salad, which i normally would never do. I felt amazing, we went to the bar after, i had diet coke and just relaxed. As we left this country dancing bar, which i will never go back to..only for you Allison. Outside they were selling Domino's Pizza. I worked for Domino's Pizza for 7 years and that pizza never smelled so good. This challenge i passed, only because all of my friends would soon be walking out, and the distance from the selling point to my car was too long for me to safely run and eat before they followed. Besides the donuts and milk, it was a great day. Saturday morning approaches and i know i have to put in extra workout because of the milk and donuts, im pumped and im ready to go. This Saturday i have two guest coming and an old faithful. My great friend and co-worker Sonia, and my friend and former co-worker Amanda. Yall know krista! lol. I pull up to the restaurant, Sonia followed us so thats where we met. I could see the fear and nervousness in her eyes. She had gospel music blaring, and im sure some kind of anointing oil in her hand...lol. Sonia follows us, as we go to pick Amanda up. When Amanda gets there i again see the fear and nervousness in her eyes. We pull up to Versus, which is a familiar place to me, but to them they were like " THIS IS THE GYM". Yes this is the gym, if you want lock-jaw just rub up against that rusty grill, which still has not been moved. (2nd time Steve). We all get out of the car and its dead silence for a while, i can physically see Sonia go back to a little girl on her first day of school. Amanda is just nervously smiling, that's what they do up north. Krista is looking like an Alum and is plotting out which girl she wants to beat. Our fearless leader Steve is leading the workout, so i start to get nervous. Steve has been known to do some crazy stuff from what i hear, i was eagerly awaiting Nathans arrival. Just like a king, he rides in on his white horse to rescue me ( its really a toyota, but basically the same thing). I felt more comfortable when i saw him. We did a great warm up, it was something new and exciting for me. Then comes the workout, the workout was a bitch for real this time. It consisted of 50 burpees, 50 situps, 50 squats, and 50 kettle bell swing. In between all that we had to run 400 meters. I was like this is cray. Cursed with this bum knee i could not run i had to run this horrible bike. I tried to run with everybody else, as i took off the principle(Steve) was like oh hell naw, you aint running with that knee, get on the bike. I was so upset i really wanted to run, ill be happy when i can run again. Amanda was a great partner to have, she was encouraging, skinny and fast. We completed our workout in 20 min and 33 seconds. At one point i looked off into the distance as i was dying peddling on this bike and saw Sonia running. I was so proud of her, i nver seen so much sweat in my life. Sonia was amazing and im so happy she did it. Megan Fri, came too, i told her if she didn't i would blog about it.  I was very excited to see her. I attempted to get the First Lady to come, she wouldn't budge, she said something about a test she had to study for, in two years, or was it Y2K as to why she couldn't come. LOL. It was an amazing Saturday workout.  Here are Sonia's and Amanda's Work-out Experience with Versus

SONIA( This is how i like to spell her name, its not how you spell it, but its how I spell it)

Thankful to have made it through...First time at Versus this morning with my friend Matt E. I pride myself on trying to work out and maintainin good health. Muscle conditioning and strength training has been my on and off companions for years. I have slacked off lately but just how much became apparent this morning. I completed the workout thanks to Krista but I thought I was dying. Apparently my near death experience was written all over my face because several people working out made me aware that this was an extra hard workout today. That made me feel better in spirit, but my thighs...that's an entirely different story. I was just about spent after the warmup but everyone was so encouraging and motivating that I had to keep it moving. Squats, burpees, sit-ups, jumping jacks and 400 meters....I did it. I just hope these noodles for thighs let me get up from this chair. Cardio........OMG! Kicks my butt everytime. I feel GREAT though. Thank you Matthew Emecheta and thank you Krista. I shall return.

Here is Amanda( Good Gravy)

Ok I am writing my post even before I shower. Nasty. Matthew told me to do it right away so I am. Hope you are happy! : ) I love to work out, seriously, I'm kinda weird. I do it at least 6 times a week. But I was still nervous about today. When I workout I usually workout to a video like P90X, or run on a treadmill. So being around lots of people and being told what to do was what had me nervous. I tried to step up my workouts this week, running more, and adding more push-ups and whatnot to try and prepare. All this prep work may have helped a little, but I WILL BE SORE tomorrow. My legs are killing me and I am ready for bed. Those kettle bell squat things did me in. We ran 400 meters in between kettle bell squat things, burpies, sit ups, and squats. I started running pretty strong the first couple of 400 meters and felt good, but toward the end I totally started slowing down. Needless to say I am happy to be home. It was hard, but I love how I feel now that its done. I feel accomplished. But like I said, ready for bed. :