Good Evening,
I know that i have not blogged in about 27 days. I feel bad, i have let my followers down. I've been going through so much that last 27 days i cant even begin to explain. I have so much going on in my life, so many things that i have committed to, but i have not committed to myself. At one point along this journey i was so focused and determined that nothing could get me down. I soon let food starts its horrible take over in my life. it all started with my cheating on Sundays. i really feel like it has destroyed this boot camp, its nobody's fault but my own. I really thought it would work out but its not. My goal for this boot camp was to lose 40 pounds and unless i chop off my right leg that is not going to happen in the next two weeks. I cant believe all i have is two weeks left. I have missed twice so far, but that is still one week. I just get tired of waking up and driving over there, half of this process is eating and exercising, the other half is attitude. if you have a bad attitude you will never complete anything in life. I will still be wearing that blazer at Melissa wedding though, so with two weeks left full speed ahead. I recently watched the Steve Harvey movie " Act like a woman, think like a man" it has be asking myself so many questions. If i want to be in a committed relationship with anyone i have got to get myself together. I have to lose this weight. I will in due time. I know what i need to do, i just have to do it. I have got to push, and push it until i get it right. Im ready and willing to do whatever i have to to make things work, and i will. Tired of being alone, tired of being fat...onward and upward here we go again.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
My Mama said I Didn't have to do Burpees
Good Morning Followers,
It has been a great weekend i must say. It was hot and sunny, getting ready for a wonderful and beautiful summer. On saturday we had a free versus saturday mornign workout. There were about 75 people there ready to work out. As steve says they could have been on the couch but they decided you work out instead. I had the pleasure of three important guest, Lucy, Alicia, and my Mother. My mama gave up during the warm up..but alicia and lucy pushed through the whole workout. i was very proud of them. Our workout consisted of the following.
WARM UP
400 METER RUN
HIGH KNEES
JUMPING JACKS
SQUATS
BUTT KICKERS
HIGH KICKS
The work was a Tabata. Tabata is 20 seconds of hard work then 10 seconds of rest for about 4 min. There were 5 stations. Squats, Sucicides, Push-ups, Planks, and Burpees. It was a pretty rough work out but i loved every minute of it. Working out in the sun, and in the grass reminds me of my old football days. As my mother loves to tell the story, she claims i was always picking flowers instead of playing the game. I remember those saturday mornings, the only thing i wanted was the after game snacks. For some reason oranges cut into section in zip lock bags taste amazing, and this is where my love started with HI-C fruit punch with those little orange juice boxes, and who can forget a good rice crispy treat. The was my goal at the end of each game was to make it to the snack line. This workout amazed me. Im sure the fact that my mother was on the sidelines helped, it brought back many memories. For boys you always want to make your mother happy, even if that means doing something you hate doing. You do it because it makes her happy. As i was doing push-ups i could see her in the distance in her pink tshirt and Women of faith Hat..lol. It was a very calming experience, the only thing that changed is i was doing this for myself and not her. The last three months my life has been changed, little by little and I know she is proud of me. She also knows that im the dramatic child, i always have been. My older brother doesnt speak very much, and my little sister is so hood i cant understand anything she nor her friends are saying, So ive always been the talker. Im techinally not a middle child, but i am. I had two older brothers who passed away so that left me the middle child. Ive always tried to use it, and my mama never stands for it lol. I was extremely happy she was there. Lucy you are amazing, im so happy to have you on board with versus get ready to change your life. lucy emailed me about the saturday morning workout. She told me she really wanted to come to test it out. She did and she put forth some great effort and made it all the way through. She now is apart of our 6am boot camp class. Alicia and I have know each other for some time now, and we have battled this thing called weight loss together. she and i were part of WDAM's the biggest loser, i lost, she came in second. So we are very familiar with the stresses that are involved in weight loss and i know that it is not easy. Alicia being the amazing woman she is gets out of her car FULL MAKE UP. no kidding. I started laughing thinking to my self, well all thats about to be in the grass. I could tell she was nervous. I was happy she was there. She made it through all the workouts but the burpees. At the end she told me, ' i could either sit there and pass out or throw up, and i dont want to throw up in front of all these people." But she pushed through. Burpees suck man, they suck so bad. Burpees give you the same feeling like when you are on the toilet taking a dump and there is no toilet paper on the roll, so you reach underneath the cabinet and there is none, thats the feeling burpees give you. I hate burpees. As we crawled to the burpee station, i told the coach my mama said i didnt have to do burpees. She just laughed and said Lets go, its burpee time, like some annoying cheerleader. I made it through, i was soaked in sweat, dirt, grass, and im sure some ants had a heart attack. It was probably one of the best workouts ever. Nicole and Krista were there too. I need krista to start working out in the advance group, she makes us all look bad, she does insanity( im doing my inappropriate hand motion right now). Nicole you stay with my group, i like trying to beat you, you are my motivator. lol. until the next time take care of yourselves and each other, and remember to tip your servers, have your pets spayed and nuetered, and Keep it classy San Diego.
I REALLY SHOULD HAVE USED SPELL CHECK, IT LOOKS LIKE RED ROBIN ON THE SCREEN.
It has been a great weekend i must say. It was hot and sunny, getting ready for a wonderful and beautiful summer. On saturday we had a free versus saturday mornign workout. There were about 75 people there ready to work out. As steve says they could have been on the couch but they decided you work out instead. I had the pleasure of three important guest, Lucy, Alicia, and my Mother. My mama gave up during the warm up..but alicia and lucy pushed through the whole workout. i was very proud of them. Our workout consisted of the following.
WARM UP
400 METER RUN
HIGH KNEES
JUMPING JACKS
SQUATS
BUTT KICKERS
HIGH KICKS
The work was a Tabata. Tabata is 20 seconds of hard work then 10 seconds of rest for about 4 min. There were 5 stations. Squats, Sucicides, Push-ups, Planks, and Burpees. It was a pretty rough work out but i loved every minute of it. Working out in the sun, and in the grass reminds me of my old football days. As my mother loves to tell the story, she claims i was always picking flowers instead of playing the game. I remember those saturday mornings, the only thing i wanted was the after game snacks. For some reason oranges cut into section in zip lock bags taste amazing, and this is where my love started with HI-C fruit punch with those little orange juice boxes, and who can forget a good rice crispy treat. The was my goal at the end of each game was to make it to the snack line. This workout amazed me. Im sure the fact that my mother was on the sidelines helped, it brought back many memories. For boys you always want to make your mother happy, even if that means doing something you hate doing. You do it because it makes her happy. As i was doing push-ups i could see her in the distance in her pink tshirt and Women of faith Hat..lol. It was a very calming experience, the only thing that changed is i was doing this for myself and not her. The last three months my life has been changed, little by little and I know she is proud of me. She also knows that im the dramatic child, i always have been. My older brother doesnt speak very much, and my little sister is so hood i cant understand anything she nor her friends are saying, So ive always been the talker. Im techinally not a middle child, but i am. I had two older brothers who passed away so that left me the middle child. Ive always tried to use it, and my mama never stands for it lol. I was extremely happy she was there. Lucy you are amazing, im so happy to have you on board with versus get ready to change your life. lucy emailed me about the saturday morning workout. She told me she really wanted to come to test it out. She did and she put forth some great effort and made it all the way through. She now is apart of our 6am boot camp class. Alicia and I have know each other for some time now, and we have battled this thing called weight loss together. she and i were part of WDAM's the biggest loser, i lost, she came in second. So we are very familiar with the stresses that are involved in weight loss and i know that it is not easy. Alicia being the amazing woman she is gets out of her car FULL MAKE UP. no kidding. I started laughing thinking to my self, well all thats about to be in the grass. I could tell she was nervous. I was happy she was there. She made it through all the workouts but the burpees. At the end she told me, ' i could either sit there and pass out or throw up, and i dont want to throw up in front of all these people." But she pushed through. Burpees suck man, they suck so bad. Burpees give you the same feeling like when you are on the toilet taking a dump and there is no toilet paper on the roll, so you reach underneath the cabinet and there is none, thats the feeling burpees give you. I hate burpees. As we crawled to the burpee station, i told the coach my mama said i didnt have to do burpees. She just laughed and said Lets go, its burpee time, like some annoying cheerleader. I made it through, i was soaked in sweat, dirt, grass, and im sure some ants had a heart attack. It was probably one of the best workouts ever. Nicole and Krista were there too. I need krista to start working out in the advance group, she makes us all look bad, she does insanity( im doing my inappropriate hand motion right now). Nicole you stay with my group, i like trying to beat you, you are my motivator. lol. until the next time take care of yourselves and each other, and remember to tip your servers, have your pets spayed and nuetered, and Keep it classy San Diego.
I REALLY SHOULD HAVE USED SPELL CHECK, IT LOOKS LIKE RED ROBIN ON THE SCREEN.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Pure Imagination
Good Morning,
It was an awesome first week of boot-camp. I must admit i am really happy to have many friends doing the boot camp with me. It makes me more competitive than i already am. This morning our workout consisted of the following. When we come in, in the morning there is a white board that Nathan writes on, the first set is normally our warm up, the middle is our stretching and the third the actual workout. This is what is normally looks like
WARM UP
10 AIR SQUATS
10 PUSH-UPS
10 SIT-UPS
400 METER RUN
FLUTTER KICKS(i call them dixie darling kicks) ..TO NATHAN..THEN JOG IT OUT UNTIL THE END
HIGH KNEES TO NATHAN ..THEN JOG IT OUT UNTIL THE END
PRISONER SQUATS TO NATHAN THEN JOG IT OUT UNTIL THE END
TWISTER KICK THINGS...TO NATHAN THEN JOG IT OUT UNTIL THE END
STRETCHING
MOUNTAIN CLIMBER
PEACOCK STRETCHING ( I DONT KNOW WHAT WE CALL IT)
STAND UP STRETCHING
QUAD STRETCHING
PLANK SERIES
FRONT 45 SEC
LEFT 30 SEC
RIGHT 30 SEC
FRONT 1 MIN
WORK OUT OF THE DAY (WOD)
200 METER RUN
20 LUNGES
20 PUSH-UPS
20 SIT-UPS
20 KETTLE BELL SWINGS
THE WOD IS DONE TIMES 3
Im going to try harder and make sure to list the workouts better so yall can understand what pain we go through. This mornings workout was a team work out. As you all know i hate to lose. Even-though my team was last we all are winners (que the violin music, roll credits). My team mates this morning were B. Harmon and Nicole. Nicole was our leader, i know right! Whoever came back first from the 200 meter run was the leader, the little Mexican beat me so she was the leader. I was very proud of her, she did an amazing job and got her stuff done. I'm also very proud of B. Harmon. Many people cant understand B. Harmon because she is a different kind of person. we often say we are alike in many ways and we are. One thing we cant stand is to let someone else have control over us. Its probably one of the hardest things for me to do is let someone else control what im doing. This morning she was tested and passed the test with flying colors. She claims she could not do kettle bell swings, but that bitch did them. She started to get pink in the face, which was my que to step in. I saw her getting angry, and she was 10 seconds away from getting in her car and driving off. The thing about versus is we don't allow any negative talking and the word CANT is never used. She kept saying i cant, and i knew if she kept saying it everybody was going to have to do 10 burpees and we probably would have killed her in the end. She pushed through with encouragement from Nathan and she did them 30 in total. Brittany im so proud of you. Often times in life we let things conquer us, and they are not supposed to. I almost cried watching her do them because it brought back painful memories from childhood, and i saw little Matthew in her eyes.She was imagining one of the kettle bells swinging over and hitting her. Im sure she never imagined that she could do it, but ole girl did, i cant say it enough how proud i am of her. My whole life i let food conquer me and control me, it had such a heavy grasp on my life. Now i know how to conquer it. Im at a point where im so encouraged and so pumped about this working out thing. I have this black blazer hanging on the wall to remind me that all things are possible. I will get into this blazer and i will be wearing it at Melissa's wedding. Ill probably pass out from the heat since its on the beach, but ill have it on with pride. You are in control of your life, what ever you want to do you can do it. When you are in a world of pure imagination the possibilities are endless. Often times i look at mens magazines and i see all these skinny men in these nice clothes that i want to be wearing. i sit back and i imagine myself in them, and that pushes me forward every morning. I have never been able to walk into a store and just pick out clothes, i always had to go allllllll the way to the back. in the back is the big and tall section, or husky..lol. My goal is to walk into a store and pick out a 2x shirt and be able to wear it. I know it will happen, it gonna be next week, but i can already imagine it.
It was an awesome first week of boot-camp. I must admit i am really happy to have many friends doing the boot camp with me. It makes me more competitive than i already am. This morning our workout consisted of the following. When we come in, in the morning there is a white board that Nathan writes on, the first set is normally our warm up, the middle is our stretching and the third the actual workout. This is what is normally looks like
WARM UP
10 AIR SQUATS
10 PUSH-UPS
10 SIT-UPS
400 METER RUN
FLUTTER KICKS(i call them dixie darling kicks) ..TO NATHAN..THEN JOG IT OUT UNTIL THE END
HIGH KNEES TO NATHAN ..THEN JOG IT OUT UNTIL THE END
PRISONER SQUATS TO NATHAN THEN JOG IT OUT UNTIL THE END
TWISTER KICK THINGS...TO NATHAN THEN JOG IT OUT UNTIL THE END
STRETCHING
MOUNTAIN CLIMBER
PEACOCK STRETCHING ( I DONT KNOW WHAT WE CALL IT)
STAND UP STRETCHING
QUAD STRETCHING
PLANK SERIES
FRONT 45 SEC
LEFT 30 SEC
RIGHT 30 SEC
FRONT 1 MIN
WORK OUT OF THE DAY (WOD)
200 METER RUN
20 LUNGES
20 PUSH-UPS
20 SIT-UPS
20 KETTLE BELL SWINGS
THE WOD IS DONE TIMES 3
Im going to try harder and make sure to list the workouts better so yall can understand what pain we go through. This mornings workout was a team work out. As you all know i hate to lose. Even-though my team was last we all are winners (que the violin music, roll credits). My team mates this morning were B. Harmon and Nicole. Nicole was our leader, i know right! Whoever came back first from the 200 meter run was the leader, the little Mexican beat me so she was the leader. I was very proud of her, she did an amazing job and got her stuff done. I'm also very proud of B. Harmon. Many people cant understand B. Harmon because she is a different kind of person. we often say we are alike in many ways and we are. One thing we cant stand is to let someone else have control over us. Its probably one of the hardest things for me to do is let someone else control what im doing. This morning she was tested and passed the test with flying colors. She claims she could not do kettle bell swings, but that bitch did them. She started to get pink in the face, which was my que to step in. I saw her getting angry, and she was 10 seconds away from getting in her car and driving off. The thing about versus is we don't allow any negative talking and the word CANT is never used. She kept saying i cant, and i knew if she kept saying it everybody was going to have to do 10 burpees and we probably would have killed her in the end. She pushed through with encouragement from Nathan and she did them 30 in total. Brittany im so proud of you. Often times in life we let things conquer us, and they are not supposed to. I almost cried watching her do them because it brought back painful memories from childhood, and i saw little Matthew in her eyes.She was imagining one of the kettle bells swinging over and hitting her. Im sure she never imagined that she could do it, but ole girl did, i cant say it enough how proud i am of her. My whole life i let food conquer me and control me, it had such a heavy grasp on my life. Now i know how to conquer it. Im at a point where im so encouraged and so pumped about this working out thing. I have this black blazer hanging on the wall to remind me that all things are possible. I will get into this blazer and i will be wearing it at Melissa's wedding. Ill probably pass out from the heat since its on the beach, but ill have it on with pride. You are in control of your life, what ever you want to do you can do it. When you are in a world of pure imagination the possibilities are endless. Often times i look at mens magazines and i see all these skinny men in these nice clothes that i want to be wearing. i sit back and i imagine myself in them, and that pushes me forward every morning. I have never been able to walk into a store and just pick out clothes, i always had to go allllllll the way to the back. in the back is the big and tall section, or husky..lol. My goal is to walk into a store and pick out a 2x shirt and be able to wear it. I know it will happen, it gonna be next week, but i can already imagine it.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I don't have a catchy Title Today.
Good Morning,
It feels great to be back at versus. I must admit that i did not want to go back, because i just did not feel like doing all that crap again. I enjoyed my two weeks off but quickly started to feel sluggish. I didnt feel skinny. How can a 377.6llb man feel skinny? Well I did, and now im back on track. This mornings workout was just a test to see what we could do. We did a 400 meter run, 40 squats, 30 situps, 20 push-ups, and 10 kick backs for 12 min. I only made it one round. But so did everybody else, except for Travis, and the Benz crew. Ill explain. In the boot camp there is a whole new set of people, i miss the OGM's. Hopefully they will return! So my new boot campers are Travis, the guy who owns smoothie king, and has this weird obsession with Toyota. I've known him for close to 10 years. I used to work at Domino's Pizza, and smoothie king was across the parking lot and he would always come in and buy diet cokes. This is how i met Steve too when he was working there, and all the ladies at domino's loved to watch him get out of his truck. Then we have the Benz girls. They are college aged, i didn't take the time to learn their names because i was missing the OGM's. I call them benz girls cause they drove off in a Benz, and when they passed me i was like .."These bitches!" And last but not least we have the cigegarate (spell check wont spell it for me), vodka, gravy cheese fries cocktails, and servers from Crescent City. I must admit when they first told me they were doing the boot camp, i was not happy. As we all know im a territorial person and i felt like they were trying to come into my territory. But who the hell am i, to get upset because someone wants to change their life. I quickly changed my attitude, it took a couple of days, but im so excited to have them along on the journey. Sara, Brittany, Amy and Nicole. I work with these ladies everyday, so it was nice to see them working out. I will say that it was CCG who was behind on the work out. As we were doing our kick backs, we all had this look on our face like Fuck this! But im really happy to have them, its going to be very competitive. Im sure me and Brittany will have some issues because we are just a like in some ways. Hopefully if she is gonna have any anxiety attacks she will give me a wink so i can start one and we can just leave the gym and go to Sams. I just love Sam's. Sara and Amy are gonna go to the tanning bed so we don't have to were sun shades at 6 am in the morning . Im pretty sure by the end of week there I will have either killed Nicole, or she will have killed me, or we will end up at Velveeta factory and just say screw it. This is gonna be a fun bootcamp. Im happy to see people changing and growing. I wanna thank my friend Sensation for being so encouraging. She always has some uplifting thing to say to me, and it really helps. I am prepared for the next chapter of bootcamp. Ive got loads of brocolli waiting to be boiled, and grapefruit by the pound. My only issue is drinking. I love diet soda now but its not good for you. Water is so boring though..uhhh. If it only have flavor. But crystal light does have some new flavors so every week will be a new adventure. I will be also going to the farmers market on Thursday so i can make some veggie soup. I know the next 8 weeks will be rough, but i have many goals in mind, and it is an awesome feeling when you see results. Im just pumped and ready to do this. lets knock this shit out!
It feels great to be back at versus. I must admit that i did not want to go back, because i just did not feel like doing all that crap again. I enjoyed my two weeks off but quickly started to feel sluggish. I didnt feel skinny. How can a 377.6llb man feel skinny? Well I did, and now im back on track. This mornings workout was just a test to see what we could do. We did a 400 meter run, 40 squats, 30 situps, 20 push-ups, and 10 kick backs for 12 min. I only made it one round. But so did everybody else, except for Travis, and the Benz crew. Ill explain. In the boot camp there is a whole new set of people, i miss the OGM's. Hopefully they will return! So my new boot campers are Travis, the guy who owns smoothie king, and has this weird obsession with Toyota. I've known him for close to 10 years. I used to work at Domino's Pizza, and smoothie king was across the parking lot and he would always come in and buy diet cokes. This is how i met Steve too when he was working there, and all the ladies at domino's loved to watch him get out of his truck. Then we have the Benz girls. They are college aged, i didn't take the time to learn their names because i was missing the OGM's. I call them benz girls cause they drove off in a Benz, and when they passed me i was like .."These bitches!" And last but not least we have the cigegarate (spell check wont spell it for me), vodka, gravy cheese fries cocktails, and servers from Crescent City. I must admit when they first told me they were doing the boot camp, i was not happy. As we all know im a territorial person and i felt like they were trying to come into my territory. But who the hell am i, to get upset because someone wants to change their life. I quickly changed my attitude, it took a couple of days, but im so excited to have them along on the journey. Sara, Brittany, Amy and Nicole. I work with these ladies everyday, so it was nice to see them working out. I will say that it was CCG who was behind on the work out. As we were doing our kick backs, we all had this look on our face like Fuck this! But im really happy to have them, its going to be very competitive. Im sure me and Brittany will have some issues because we are just a like in some ways. Hopefully if she is gonna have any anxiety attacks she will give me a wink so i can start one and we can just leave the gym and go to Sams. I just love Sam's. Sara and Amy are gonna go to the tanning bed so we don't have to were sun shades at 6 am in the morning . Im pretty sure by the end of week there I will have either killed Nicole, or she will have killed me, or we will end up at Velveeta factory and just say screw it. This is gonna be a fun bootcamp. Im happy to see people changing and growing. I wanna thank my friend Sensation for being so encouraging. She always has some uplifting thing to say to me, and it really helps. I am prepared for the next chapter of bootcamp. Ive got loads of brocolli waiting to be boiled, and grapefruit by the pound. My only issue is drinking. I love diet soda now but its not good for you. Water is so boring though..uhhh. If it only have flavor. But crystal light does have some new flavors so every week will be a new adventure. I will be also going to the farmers market on Thursday so i can make some veggie soup. I know the next 8 weeks will be rough, but i have many goals in mind, and it is an awesome feeling when you see results. Im just pumped and ready to do this. lets knock this shit out!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Who Tells you the Truth?
Good Morning,
Its been a long time, i shouldn't have left you, without a dope beat to step to..step to..step..to..LOL. IM BACK BABY! It has been a while since i have blogged. The boot camp at Versus ended about a week ago. I had a total weight loss of 27.4 pounds. I have never felt this way in my life it is an awesome feeling to sit here and feel healthy and looking so darn good. All of the compliments, and encouragement keep me going. On our last workout, i remember driving to the gym with this feeling of calmness. I knew that this was going to be the last time i had to do a burpee! On the last workout the OGMS, and myself gave it our all. We left that building feeling accomplished and ready to conquer the world. In life sometimes there are some things we just dont wanna do, its not that we cant do them, we just dont want to. Ive come to the conclusion that i just dont want to workout anymore..I just dont wanna do it. BUT, i know i have to. I tried to come up with my own workout plan of what i wanted to do. I aint done shit. I went swimming one time, and then my swim coach never showed up at the pool again. LOL. I have thought this over and over again. I hate walking into versus because i know whats going to happen, i hate it with a passion. When i leave on the other hand i feel amazing and so much better. I wanted to start a new chapter in my life, and i think i am. That new chapter is continuing to challenge myself, and to push forward. With that being said ill be returning to Versus next week, for the boot camp. I hate to admit when im worng, or having to go back on my words. Many people in my life told me i would return, and in the words of our beloved Whitney i said " Oh Hell no". I have two goals in mind. The first Im running that mile, my knee wouldn;t let me do it last time, but i could care less about that knee, im running that mile. My second goal is 350 llbs. Right now i have to weigh myself on a digital scale, i feel like a truck being weighed at a weigh station on the highway. I want to be able to get on the scale at the gym, the ones the doctors used when i was little. My friend Melissa is getting married in 8 weeks too, so i will have the chance to lose some weight before her wedding and enjoy a beach weekend. Im ready to do this all over again, its nice be back on a schedule. I do think with my diet im going to try to incorporate some new lunch ideas, and things to eat for dinner. Im going to weigh on Friday mornings, and my new cheat day will be Sunday. So if you see me eating on Sunday im gonna eat whatever i want to, so dont be tripping. It seems like i have it all figured out we will see what happens. Oprah always asks the one question to everyone she interviews. Her question is always " Who tells you the Truth?" Its hard to find people who will actually tell you the truth. People are afraid of the truth it scares them. Peoples feeling get hurt when they hear the truth. No matter how big and bad you are when you hear the truth, it hurts. I have heard the truth. My mom always tells me the truth, never holds back, she may slowly walk into it, and guide you to it, but she is going to tell me the truth. I had a conversation with her on the last day of boot camp. I called her and i said " Mama guess how much weight i lost?" She started to calculate, and i can just picture her sitting in her breakfast nook, using her fingers, and looking towards the sky in the way she does. Her guess was wrong but she said the most powerful words to me. she said " Well i need to see you before you start eating again" that was her way of telling me the truth LOL. she cracks me up. When i was little i would always get into trouble, i got into more trouble because i was a horrible liar, still am, LOL. But she could see right through me, she said when i would lie, i would always tilt my head as if i was thinking, are they believing this. lol. I have heard the truth from so many people, and i want to thank them. Im ready to start this journey back again. My suggestion is that you surround yourself with people who will tell you the truth. You will find those people with this simple action. If you ask them a question, and their answer makes you silent for a split second, thats the truth.
Its been a long time, i shouldn't have left you, without a dope beat to step to..step to..step..to..LOL. IM BACK BABY! It has been a while since i have blogged. The boot camp at Versus ended about a week ago. I had a total weight loss of 27.4 pounds. I have never felt this way in my life it is an awesome feeling to sit here and feel healthy and looking so darn good. All of the compliments, and encouragement keep me going. On our last workout, i remember driving to the gym with this feeling of calmness. I knew that this was going to be the last time i had to do a burpee! On the last workout the OGMS, and myself gave it our all. We left that building feeling accomplished and ready to conquer the world. In life sometimes there are some things we just dont wanna do, its not that we cant do them, we just dont want to. Ive come to the conclusion that i just dont want to workout anymore..I just dont wanna do it. BUT, i know i have to. I tried to come up with my own workout plan of what i wanted to do. I aint done shit. I went swimming one time, and then my swim coach never showed up at the pool again. LOL. I have thought this over and over again. I hate walking into versus because i know whats going to happen, i hate it with a passion. When i leave on the other hand i feel amazing and so much better. I wanted to start a new chapter in my life, and i think i am. That new chapter is continuing to challenge myself, and to push forward. With that being said ill be returning to Versus next week, for the boot camp. I hate to admit when im worng, or having to go back on my words. Many people in my life told me i would return, and in the words of our beloved Whitney i said " Oh Hell no". I have two goals in mind. The first Im running that mile, my knee wouldn;t let me do it last time, but i could care less about that knee, im running that mile. My second goal is 350 llbs. Right now i have to weigh myself on a digital scale, i feel like a truck being weighed at a weigh station on the highway. I want to be able to get on the scale at the gym, the ones the doctors used when i was little. My friend Melissa is getting married in 8 weeks too, so i will have the chance to lose some weight before her wedding and enjoy a beach weekend. Im ready to do this all over again, its nice be back on a schedule. I do think with my diet im going to try to incorporate some new lunch ideas, and things to eat for dinner. Im going to weigh on Friday mornings, and my new cheat day will be Sunday. So if you see me eating on Sunday im gonna eat whatever i want to, so dont be tripping. It seems like i have it all figured out we will see what happens. Oprah always asks the one question to everyone she interviews. Her question is always " Who tells you the Truth?" Its hard to find people who will actually tell you the truth. People are afraid of the truth it scares them. Peoples feeling get hurt when they hear the truth. No matter how big and bad you are when you hear the truth, it hurts. I have heard the truth. My mom always tells me the truth, never holds back, she may slowly walk into it, and guide you to it, but she is going to tell me the truth. I had a conversation with her on the last day of boot camp. I called her and i said " Mama guess how much weight i lost?" She started to calculate, and i can just picture her sitting in her breakfast nook, using her fingers, and looking towards the sky in the way she does. Her guess was wrong but she said the most powerful words to me. she said " Well i need to see you before you start eating again" that was her way of telling me the truth LOL. she cracks me up. When i was little i would always get into trouble, i got into more trouble because i was a horrible liar, still am, LOL. But she could see right through me, she said when i would lie, i would always tilt my head as if i was thinking, are they believing this. lol. I have heard the truth from so many people, and i want to thank them. Im ready to start this journey back again. My suggestion is that you surround yourself with people who will tell you the truth. You will find those people with this simple action. If you ask them a question, and their answer makes you silent for a split second, thats the truth.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
The Next Chapter
Good Morning,
I know, i know, i have not blogged in about 2 weeks. In the last two weeks I've been going through a roller coaster of emotions. I've been up, I've been down, Whitney is dead, Mardi Gras was a blast, I almost went to prison..lol...all sorts of things happened. it was on that roller coaster that i learned so much about myself. in this weight lost journey that i am on, i figured out how much you actually go through. its not like you have issues with other people, its more about dealing with yourself. In the last 8 weeks, i got to know myself. i got to know myself because, i was put in an uncomfortable situation and forced to deal with it. i have learned that if you really want to do something, you can. in order for you to accomplish what you want to do, you have to make the decision yourself. Other people will always try to influence you, but until you have a come to Jesus meeting with your self it wont happen. For years my sweet, dear, hilarious mother tried to help me lose weight. On some Sundays, when i was little we would go to Lubys for Sunday lunch. I could care less about the Sunday school lesson, or about what the preacher was talking about, my focus was on lunch. I loved going to Luby's because it was cafeteria style, you had all this food to choose from. My favorite meal was mac and cheese, a salad with cups of ranch, and these little square fried fish. My mother had a rule though, I could only go back once, and i could only get one thing. I was a little fat kid. The whole time i was eating i was deciding what item i was going to get, it always ended up being the square fried fish. My mother was trying to prevent me from becoming the size i am now. She wanted me to be healthy and happy. Years later i was that scary size, and it was an uncomfortable size. When you get on a scale and you look at the number and its 404 pounds, it blows you away. A baby elephant weighs 200 pounds, i was two baby elephants. think about that yall, two baby elephants. i remember nights laying in my bed, just wanting to die. I was financially unstable, i was so big that i had to pre-tie my own shoes, i never felt loved only used to those Chub chasers ( heyyyyyy), and i really wanted to just end it. But i chose to live. I chose to love, i chose to laugh, and live life. I made a decision not for anybody else but for myself. It an awesome feeling to know that you are in charge of your life. My idol and hero Lady O..Oprah that is once said.." You are responsible for the energy you bring towards people" There is positive energy and negative energy. I had to understand that most of the energy i was bringing was so negative not by choice, but because i was living a negative lifestyle. What positive can come out of a 400 pound man, in his bed, in his underwear, eating left over ribblets, drinking a 2 liter Pepsi. NOTHING. All it took was one picture, one outside view into my world for me to say this is it. Im gonna post that picture so yall can see. In the last 8 weeks i have grown into a person that i never thought i would be. Instead of thinking about food, i think about running. Instead of trying to see how many wings i can eat, i push myself to do more burpees( burpees still can go to hell, i hate them). Its been a major change, all the clothes in my closet fit, Ill still be wearing my red tech vest its so comfortable. My shoes fit better, i don't get bed cramps in the middle of the night. I no longer get scared when watching tv in my room because i hear a wheezing noise, and think its a bug or something, when only to find out its me breathing. LOL. It has been a total lifestyle change, and its an awesome feeling. Im going to be honest I still get the feeling for nasty food and i will definitely eat it, but i know what the punishment is and what i have to do after i eat it. Seriously y'all a total change and i love it. Again with Oprah, i know, Lady O says you have to go on to the next chapter in your life. Some people stay in the same chapter and never grow, never learn, and never expound. I want to learn and grow. With that being said my next chapter will not be with Versus. I have enjoyed every minute, especially when Nathan would demonstrate a squat. I have enjoyed spending my growing times withe the OGM's who are just plain awesome. They have kids, church, husbands, bills and that the other stuff that comes with life, but they still put forth great effort, and inspire me every workout. I have to thank Nathan, he is a great trainer, positive, encouraging, and willing to work with you. He is a silent man, you should always fear a silent man, they have powers beyond our reach. He is responsible for the success i have had because he believed in me and showed me the extra concern and time. I want to thank Mike and Steve for letting me come to their gym and try to take over. I still have control issues. Mike thank you for always encouraging me, in your own, awkward way LOL..thanks Homie! Steve its strange beacuse i have known you for a long time, you helped me get through the WDAM Biggest Loser when you worked at smoothie king. You would always tell me to come out to this gym, where there was no air, and none of that fancy stuff, and i never would. I wish i had come 4 years ago, how different my life would be now. For all of my followers thank you for you time, concern, encouragement, words of wisdom, and little tips. I thank all of you for reading every week, you all have made me feel like a superstar. i remember being at work serving people and they would be like " are you Matt?" i would say yes, they would say " I just love reading your blog" i really felt famous, thank yall for that. When i win an oscar or grammy ill be sure to thank you. Thank you to my wonderful family, My mom, she stopped reading the blogs because i cursed too much, My Dad for being encouraging and never trying to give me advice..lol. My little sister for sending me a t-shirt that i soon will be able to wear, and for the "Shout Out" as the young people say. My brother for being just awesome, he has always been my protector and best friend. I want to thank all of my friends. I love each and every one of you. From Bayside high, to the OGG's, to my sweet angels. But most of all id like to thank the Lord. Thank you for giving me the strengh, courage, and wisdom to push forward in this journey. I know that i may not live a right as you would like, but you are always there, and i thank you. One of my favorite scriptures that i love to read, and i try to gain a better understanding of is. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (Philippians 4:6)
My next chapter will be swimming, running, and weight lifting. Beach season is coming up and i really want to have my shirt off at the beach this year. hopefully i wont scare any small children. Thank you for being on this journey with me, and as i venture into the next chapter i hope you will stay and discover what happens. ( I sound like a PBS commercial)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I Didn't Know my own Strength
Good Morning,
I was a little tired yesterday to write the blog after the work-out. Valentines day really sucked. I hate being alone, but i love it at the same time. I didnt have to buy any gifts, or candy and I got to spend time alone with myself watching TV. Im so cool! Yesterday's workout was pretty amazing. Its funny that now i kind of get excited going to work out. When you see results, you get extremely encouraged, and all this energy just wraps its self around you, and you feel confident. Our warm-up was a little dull in my opinion, i think its because im getting used to doing it. Our workout was an intense one to say the least. We started out on the bikes, i of course picked out the Jane Fonda bike, Barbara and Karen got the good ones, and Nettelton got the one that didn't work all that well. When we got on the bikes i was thinking that this was going to be easy and over soon. NOT. We had to sprint on the bike for 20 seconds and rest for ten, we did 8 rounds of this. when we got done we all felt like toddlers trying to walk for the first time, gummy legs, and you couldn't understand anything we were saying because we were breathing so hard. Luckily i didn't poop my pants. Riding that damn bike aint no joke. Our morning workout consisted of Burpee-pushups, Kettle bell squats, and sit ups. We had to do 7 of each AMRP for 12 min. Flossy was feeling fine, but you know how she can act up, so instead of the push up burpees i had to ride Jane( thats what he said...da dun chee)! My relationship with Jane is growing. It was a great workout. When i get up in the morning i dread driving to versus, but when i leave i feel like a Million Dollar Bill. I also like going to walmart after to buy veggies and fruits. I walkin with my sweat staind work-out clothes and my cut off gloves, saying to myself " look at all these fat asses in here" You would think I have lost 200 pounds, ive only lost 21 officially, but i feel skinny. It is an amazing feeling to see your body transform daily. Soon enough i wont have to look in the mirror to see my whoo-haa. ( sorry mama). Last year i bought this amazing grey shirt for the Mardi Gras. When i came home i couldnt even button the shirt, so i just hung it up in closet. When i started the lifesyle change, i said that this Mardi Gras i will have that shirt on. As we all are aware the number one diva Ms. Whitney Elizabeth Houston has passed away. She was my favorite singer and entertainer. There will never be a voice like hers again. On her last album there is a song called " I didnt know my own strength". In the song she talks about how survived her darkest hour, she wasn't built to break, she crashed down, she tumbled, but she didn't crumble, she got through all the pain. The grey shirt was a symbol of everything i had let happen to myself. It represented all the bad habbits, the heartache, the tears, the jokes, the name calling, the looks and the stares. As i walked passed this shirt it let me know i had let something conquer and command my life. Just like whitney i was addicted to food. it was constantly on my mind, all day everyday. even as a child while other children were playing i was inside watching Justin Wilson learning how to cook gumbo and fry fish. Which i have to say i make the best gumbo, and ill blow your head off if you think its not the best. I have had this addiction for 20 something years, and it has controlled me. i was playing, I didnt know my own strength, when i walked pass the shirt hanging in the hallway. I got a hammer and took it off the wall, i went into the bathroom and started buttoning it from the top, and after each button another tear fell, and at the end a smile. I had conquered the beast. I was no longer under this addiction. seriously, i didn't know i had all this strength, built inside of me. Often times life makes us feel like David, and its Goliath. It throws all this stuff at us, stands tall and intimidating. If we take the time to look inside our hearts, minds, and souls we can find that beast and conquer it. Find your strength, i found mine!
I was a little tired yesterday to write the blog after the work-out. Valentines day really sucked. I hate being alone, but i love it at the same time. I didnt have to buy any gifts, or candy and I got to spend time alone with myself watching TV. Im so cool! Yesterday's workout was pretty amazing. Its funny that now i kind of get excited going to work out. When you see results, you get extremely encouraged, and all this energy just wraps its self around you, and you feel confident. Our warm-up was a little dull in my opinion, i think its because im getting used to doing it. Our workout was an intense one to say the least. We started out on the bikes, i of course picked out the Jane Fonda bike, Barbara and Karen got the good ones, and Nettelton got the one that didn't work all that well. When we got on the bikes i was thinking that this was going to be easy and over soon. NOT. We had to sprint on the bike for 20 seconds and rest for ten, we did 8 rounds of this. when we got done we all felt like toddlers trying to walk for the first time, gummy legs, and you couldn't understand anything we were saying because we were breathing so hard. Luckily i didn't poop my pants. Riding that damn bike aint no joke. Our morning workout consisted of Burpee-pushups, Kettle bell squats, and sit ups. We had to do 7 of each AMRP for 12 min. Flossy was feeling fine, but you know how she can act up, so instead of the push up burpees i had to ride Jane( thats what he said...da dun chee)! My relationship with Jane is growing. It was a great workout. When i get up in the morning i dread driving to versus, but when i leave i feel like a Million Dollar Bill. I also like going to walmart after to buy veggies and fruits. I walkin with my sweat staind work-out clothes and my cut off gloves, saying to myself " look at all these fat asses in here" You would think I have lost 200 pounds, ive only lost 21 officially, but i feel skinny. It is an amazing feeling to see your body transform daily. Soon enough i wont have to look in the mirror to see my whoo-haa. ( sorry mama). Last year i bought this amazing grey shirt for the Mardi Gras. When i came home i couldnt even button the shirt, so i just hung it up in closet. When i started the lifesyle change, i said that this Mardi Gras i will have that shirt on. As we all are aware the number one diva Ms. Whitney Elizabeth Houston has passed away. She was my favorite singer and entertainer. There will never be a voice like hers again. On her last album there is a song called " I didnt know my own strength". In the song she talks about how survived her darkest hour, she wasn't built to break, she crashed down, she tumbled, but she didn't crumble, she got through all the pain. The grey shirt was a symbol of everything i had let happen to myself. It represented all the bad habbits, the heartache, the tears, the jokes, the name calling, the looks and the stares. As i walked passed this shirt it let me know i had let something conquer and command my life. Just like whitney i was addicted to food. it was constantly on my mind, all day everyday. even as a child while other children were playing i was inside watching Justin Wilson learning how to cook gumbo and fry fish. Which i have to say i make the best gumbo, and ill blow your head off if you think its not the best. I have had this addiction for 20 something years, and it has controlled me. i was playing, I didnt know my own strength, when i walked pass the shirt hanging in the hallway. I got a hammer and took it off the wall, i went into the bathroom and started buttoning it from the top, and after each button another tear fell, and at the end a smile. I had conquered the beast. I was no longer under this addiction. seriously, i didn't know i had all this strength, built inside of me. Often times life makes us feel like David, and its Goliath. It throws all this stuff at us, stands tall and intimidating. If we take the time to look inside our hearts, minds, and souls we can find that beast and conquer it. Find your strength, i found mine!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Ole Flossy
Good Morning,
Another day another dolla, make ya wanna holla! I just felt like good morning wasn't enough. It feels great to be back at the gym. I could not make it on Tuesday due to my Torn ACL...just kidding folks. My knee was hurting pretty bad, and I took a Tylenol PM, i missed the alarm, and missed the work-out. I did not know that most of the OGMs had missed on Tuesday as well. Nathan sent us, an angry email, needless to say it was a packed house this morning. Sometimes I feel like he is Napoleon and we are his french soldiers, im sure i would have been a captain in the french army. We are all back on track, and I promise not to miss another work-out, except for Fat Tuesday. Our workout this morning was a little rough. We need a normal warm-up and stretching. The workout this morning was 5 stations. We each had a partner, one would work, while the other rested. Each partner worked out for 30 seconds. After the 30 seconds we would switch to the next station. The stations were Bur-pees ( can i just say i hate bur-pees, i hate bur pees more than i hate Katherine Heigle, she just annoys the piss out of me), Sit-ups, prisoner lunges, squat thrust, and rig rows. everything was going well until old Flossy started to hurt. Flossy is the name of my left knee, i figured if i named it she would treat me better and stop hurting. Flossy don't play y'all. Since flossy wanted to be a bitch this morning, i had to stop doing the regular work-out and get on that damn bike. That bike really isn't that bad, its just that its from 1974, and i swear it was signed by Jane Fonda. I felt like the kid in the back of the classroom with the building blocks, but i made it through. I bought a knee brace for flossy, but it was too little, so ill be getting another one soon, and hopefully i can workout with the rest of the group normally. The OGMs are some real warriors. These women work, have all these kids, they go to church, they have to eat healthy food, they have cycles ( i assume) and they still come out and put forth a great effort. They are always encouraging and uplifting. I'm happy im in their group. Often times ill look over at the Skinny group on the other side of the gym, they are jumping on boxes, doing pull ups with big rubber bands, wresting alligators, stopping asteroids, and ending world hunger. On our side we are talking, laughing, sweating, thinking about that damn krispy kreme red hot sign, and Burger Kings new fries. We get our shit done though. Its lots of hard work, but we encourage each other knowing it will all be over soon. Im beyond thankful to have these ladies by my side, one day will will be jumping on boxes, and using rubber bands for pull ups. It aint gonna happen this week though. After our work-out I had a private consultation with the PT. Nathan told me to cut out allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll sugar. In my head i was like, ill die with out it, but i made a pledge for the next four weeks to go HAM and give up the sugar. HAM is an urban rap word for Hard as a Mother-F*&%$#$. I dont suggest you use it in your everyday vernacular ( yeah that's right, i just used that word, this blog is riddled with grammatical errors and plenty of mis-spelled words, but i used a big word, and im pretty sure i used to wrong but it sounds like some New York Times stuff). No more sugar and more lean meats and veggies. Its all about a lifestyle change, not a diet. I am determined to get healthy and stay healthy.
Another day another dolla, make ya wanna holla! I just felt like good morning wasn't enough. It feels great to be back at the gym. I could not make it on Tuesday due to my Torn ACL...just kidding folks. My knee was hurting pretty bad, and I took a Tylenol PM, i missed the alarm, and missed the work-out. I did not know that most of the OGMs had missed on Tuesday as well. Nathan sent us, an angry email, needless to say it was a packed house this morning. Sometimes I feel like he is Napoleon and we are his french soldiers, im sure i would have been a captain in the french army. We are all back on track, and I promise not to miss another work-out, except for Fat Tuesday. Our workout this morning was a little rough. We need a normal warm-up and stretching. The workout this morning was 5 stations. We each had a partner, one would work, while the other rested. Each partner worked out for 30 seconds. After the 30 seconds we would switch to the next station. The stations were Bur-pees ( can i just say i hate bur-pees, i hate bur pees more than i hate Katherine Heigle, she just annoys the piss out of me), Sit-ups, prisoner lunges, squat thrust, and rig rows. everything was going well until old Flossy started to hurt. Flossy is the name of my left knee, i figured if i named it she would treat me better and stop hurting. Flossy don't play y'all. Since flossy wanted to be a bitch this morning, i had to stop doing the regular work-out and get on that damn bike. That bike really isn't that bad, its just that its from 1974, and i swear it was signed by Jane Fonda. I felt like the kid in the back of the classroom with the building blocks, but i made it through. I bought a knee brace for flossy, but it was too little, so ill be getting another one soon, and hopefully i can workout with the rest of the group normally. The OGMs are some real warriors. These women work, have all these kids, they go to church, they have to eat healthy food, they have cycles ( i assume) and they still come out and put forth a great effort. They are always encouraging and uplifting. I'm happy im in their group. Often times ill look over at the Skinny group on the other side of the gym, they are jumping on boxes, doing pull ups with big rubber bands, wresting alligators, stopping asteroids, and ending world hunger. On our side we are talking, laughing, sweating, thinking about that damn krispy kreme red hot sign, and Burger Kings new fries. We get our shit done though. Its lots of hard work, but we encourage each other knowing it will all be over soon. Im beyond thankful to have these ladies by my side, one day will will be jumping on boxes, and using rubber bands for pull ups. It aint gonna happen this week though. After our work-out I had a private consultation with the PT. Nathan told me to cut out allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll sugar. In my head i was like, ill die with out it, but i made a pledge for the next four weeks to go HAM and give up the sugar. HAM is an urban rap word for Hard as a Mother-F*&%$#$. I dont suggest you use it in your everyday vernacular ( yeah that's right, i just used that word, this blog is riddled with grammatical errors and plenty of mis-spelled words, but i used a big word, and im pretty sure i used to wrong but it sounds like some New York Times stuff). No more sugar and more lean meats and veggies. Its all about a lifestyle change, not a diet. I am determined to get healthy and stay healthy.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Reality Check
Good Morning,
Sorry for the delay in posting. I must admit I'm not happy with myself at this point. I have not lost as much weight as i wanted to, and it seems like i keep making horrible decisions. I had a recent conversation with some friends about accountability. Its my belief that you have to be accountable for yourself, you can not blame others for the mistakes and decisions you make. The only person you can blame is yourself. This week has been a major reality check for me. I have made some horrible eating decisions and im really pissed with myself. i said i would give full disclosure on everything so here it goes. When i got off work Friday i was feeling amazing, i had money in my pocket, bills were paid, and it was Friday. My good friend, and Angel-wannabe Allison was in town from New York. My good friend and Original Olive Garden Gangsta, Sherri was here from New Orleans. I knew this was gonna be a rough weekend for me to stay on course. It all started after i picked up some dry-cleaning, which was two months old. They always give me a look like they hate me when i pick it up, but it saves on closet space..think about it. I came home and tried on a shirt and jeans i hadn't worn in three months, they were so loose, i was extremely proud of myself. Like a crack head, i went to the JR food mart and picked up some crack, White powder donuts and chocolate milk. Just like a crack-head I was at the counter nervous and shaking, constantly looking around praying that i would see anybody who reads my blogs or knows me. As soon as i handed him the cash like Tyrone Biggums i was like " put it in a bag man, put it in a bag." I walk out of the gas station with the crack clinched to me like a 96 year-old woman with her purse waiting on a bus in Compton. I sat there in my car thinking over and over about this horrible choice i made. Even though it was probably the best taste in the world, it tasted and felt horrible going down. I was beyond ashamed. I slowly got over it, and got back on the right track, so i thought. Later that night we went out to eat. I did well i had some pesto chicken with no pasta, substitute extra green beans. I even ate Ashlee's left over salad, which i normally would never do. I felt amazing, we went to the bar after, i had diet coke and just relaxed. As we left this country dancing bar, which i will never go back to..only for you Allison. Outside they were selling Domino's Pizza. I worked for Domino's Pizza for 7 years and that pizza never smelled so good. This challenge i passed, only because all of my friends would soon be walking out, and the distance from the selling point to my car was too long for me to safely run and eat before they followed. Besides the donuts and milk, it was a great day. Saturday morning approaches and i know i have to put in extra workout because of the milk and donuts, im pumped and im ready to go. This Saturday i have two guest coming and an old faithful. My great friend and co-worker Sonia, and my friend and former co-worker Amanda. Yall know krista! lol. I pull up to the restaurant, Sonia followed us so thats where we met. I could see the fear and nervousness in her eyes. She had gospel music blaring, and im sure some kind of anointing oil in her hand...lol. Sonia follows us, as we go to pick Amanda up. When Amanda gets there i again see the fear and nervousness in her eyes. We pull up to Versus, which is a familiar place to me, but to them they were like " THIS IS THE GYM". Yes this is the gym, if you want lock-jaw just rub up against that rusty grill, which still has not been moved. (2nd time Steve). We all get out of the car and its dead silence for a while, i can physically see Sonia go back to a little girl on her first day of school. Amanda is just nervously smiling, that's what they do up north. Krista is looking like an Alum and is plotting out which girl she wants to beat. Our fearless leader Steve is leading the workout, so i start to get nervous. Steve has been known to do some crazy stuff from what i hear, i was eagerly awaiting Nathans arrival. Just like a king, he rides in on his white horse to rescue me ( its really a toyota, but basically the same thing). I felt more comfortable when i saw him. We did a great warm up, it was something new and exciting for me. Then comes the workout, the workout was a bitch for real this time. It consisted of 50 burpees, 50 situps, 50 squats, and 50 kettle bell swing. In between all that we had to run 400 meters. I was like this is cray. Cursed with this bum knee i could not run i had to run this horrible bike. I tried to run with everybody else, as i took off the principle(Steve) was like oh hell naw, you aint running with that knee, get on the bike. I was so upset i really wanted to run, ill be happy when i can run again. Amanda was a great partner to have, she was encouraging, skinny and fast. We completed our workout in 20 min and 33 seconds. At one point i looked off into the distance as i was dying peddling on this bike and saw Sonia running. I was so proud of her, i nver seen so much sweat in my life. Sonia was amazing and im so happy she did it. Megan Fri, came too, i told her if she didn't i would blog about it. I was very excited to see her. I attempted to get the First Lady to come, she wouldn't budge, she said something about a test she had to study for, in two years, or was it Y2K as to why she couldn't come. LOL. It was an amazing Saturday workout. Here are Sonia's and Amanda's Work-out Experience with Versus
SONIA( This is how i like to spell her name, its not how you spell it, but its how I spell it)
Thankful to have made it through...First time at Versus this morning with my friend Matt E. I pride myself on trying to work out and maintainin good health. Muscle conditioning and strength training has been my on and off companions for years. I have slacked off lately but just how much became apparent this morning. I completed the workout thanks to Krista but I thought I was dying. Apparently my near death experience was written all over my face because several people working out made me aware that this was an extra hard workout today. That made me feel better in spirit, but my thighs...that's an entirely different story. I was just about spent after the warmup but everyone was so encouraging and motivating that I had to keep it moving. Squats, burpees, sit-ups, jumping jacks and 400 meters....I did it. I just hope these noodles for thighs let me get up from this chair. Cardio........OMG! Kicks my butt everytime. I feel GREAT though. Thank you Matthew Emecheta and thank you Krista. I shall return.
Sorry for the delay in posting. I must admit I'm not happy with myself at this point. I have not lost as much weight as i wanted to, and it seems like i keep making horrible decisions. I had a recent conversation with some friends about accountability. Its my belief that you have to be accountable for yourself, you can not blame others for the mistakes and decisions you make. The only person you can blame is yourself. This week has been a major reality check for me. I have made some horrible eating decisions and im really pissed with myself. i said i would give full disclosure on everything so here it goes. When i got off work Friday i was feeling amazing, i had money in my pocket, bills were paid, and it was Friday. My good friend, and Angel-wannabe Allison was in town from New York. My good friend and Original Olive Garden Gangsta, Sherri was here from New Orleans. I knew this was gonna be a rough weekend for me to stay on course. It all started after i picked up some dry-cleaning, which was two months old. They always give me a look like they hate me when i pick it up, but it saves on closet space..think about it. I came home and tried on a shirt and jeans i hadn't worn in three months, they were so loose, i was extremely proud of myself. Like a crack head, i went to the JR food mart and picked up some crack, White powder donuts and chocolate milk. Just like a crack-head I was at the counter nervous and shaking, constantly looking around praying that i would see anybody who reads my blogs or knows me. As soon as i handed him the cash like Tyrone Biggums i was like " put it in a bag man, put it in a bag." I walk out of the gas station with the crack clinched to me like a 96 year-old woman with her purse waiting on a bus in Compton. I sat there in my car thinking over and over about this horrible choice i made. Even though it was probably the best taste in the world, it tasted and felt horrible going down. I was beyond ashamed. I slowly got over it, and got back on the right track, so i thought. Later that night we went out to eat. I did well i had some pesto chicken with no pasta, substitute extra green beans. I even ate Ashlee's left over salad, which i normally would never do. I felt amazing, we went to the bar after, i had diet coke and just relaxed. As we left this country dancing bar, which i will never go back to..only for you Allison. Outside they were selling Domino's Pizza. I worked for Domino's Pizza for 7 years and that pizza never smelled so good. This challenge i passed, only because all of my friends would soon be walking out, and the distance from the selling point to my car was too long for me to safely run and eat before they followed. Besides the donuts and milk, it was a great day. Saturday morning approaches and i know i have to put in extra workout because of the milk and donuts, im pumped and im ready to go. This Saturday i have two guest coming and an old faithful. My great friend and co-worker Sonia, and my friend and former co-worker Amanda. Yall know krista! lol. I pull up to the restaurant, Sonia followed us so thats where we met. I could see the fear and nervousness in her eyes. She had gospel music blaring, and im sure some kind of anointing oil in her hand...lol. Sonia follows us, as we go to pick Amanda up. When Amanda gets there i again see the fear and nervousness in her eyes. We pull up to Versus, which is a familiar place to me, but to them they were like " THIS IS THE GYM". Yes this is the gym, if you want lock-jaw just rub up against that rusty grill, which still has not been moved. (2nd time Steve). We all get out of the car and its dead silence for a while, i can physically see Sonia go back to a little girl on her first day of school. Amanda is just nervously smiling, that's what they do up north. Krista is looking like an Alum and is plotting out which girl she wants to beat. Our fearless leader Steve is leading the workout, so i start to get nervous. Steve has been known to do some crazy stuff from what i hear, i was eagerly awaiting Nathans arrival. Just like a king, he rides in on his white horse to rescue me ( its really a toyota, but basically the same thing). I felt more comfortable when i saw him. We did a great warm up, it was something new and exciting for me. Then comes the workout, the workout was a bitch for real this time. It consisted of 50 burpees, 50 situps, 50 squats, and 50 kettle bell swing. In between all that we had to run 400 meters. I was like this is cray. Cursed with this bum knee i could not run i had to run this horrible bike. I tried to run with everybody else, as i took off the principle(Steve) was like oh hell naw, you aint running with that knee, get on the bike. I was so upset i really wanted to run, ill be happy when i can run again. Amanda was a great partner to have, she was encouraging, skinny and fast. We completed our workout in 20 min and 33 seconds. At one point i looked off into the distance as i was dying peddling on this bike and saw Sonia running. I was so proud of her, i nver seen so much sweat in my life. Sonia was amazing and im so happy she did it. Megan Fri, came too, i told her if she didn't i would blog about it. I was very excited to see her. I attempted to get the First Lady to come, she wouldn't budge, she said something about a test she had to study for, in two years, or was it Y2K as to why she couldn't come. LOL. It was an amazing Saturday workout. Here are Sonia's and Amanda's Work-out Experience with Versus
SONIA( This is how i like to spell her name, its not how you spell it, but its how I spell it)
Thankful to have made it through...First time at Versus this morning with my friend Matt E. I pride myself on trying to work out and maintainin good health. Muscle conditioning and strength training has been my on and off companions for years. I have slacked off lately but just how much became apparent this morning. I completed the workout thanks to Krista but I thought I was dying. Apparently my near death experience was written all over my face because several people working out made me aware that this was an extra hard workout today. That made me feel better in spirit, but my thighs...that's an entirely different story. I was just about spent after the warmup but everyone was so encouraging and motivating that I had to keep it moving. Squats, burpees, sit-ups, jumping jacks and 400 meters....I did it. I just hope these noodles for thighs let me get up from this chair. Cardio........OMG! Kicks my butt everytime. I feel GREAT though. Thank you Matthew Emecheta and thank you Krista. I shall return.
Here is Amanda( Good Gravy)
Ok I am writing my post even before I shower. Nasty. Matthew told me to do it right away so I am. Hope you are happy! : ) I love to work out, seriously, I'm kinda weird. I do it at least 6 times a week. But I was still nervous about today. When I workout I usually workout to a video like P90X, or run on a treadmill. So being around lots of people and being told what to do was what had me nervous. I tried to step up my workouts this week, running more, and adding more push-ups and whatnot to try and prepare. All this prep work may have helped a little, but I WILL BE SORE tomorrow. My legs are killing me and I am ready for bed. Those kettle bell squat things did me in. We ran 400 meters in between kettle bell squat things, burpies, sit ups, and squats. I started running pretty strong the first couple of 400 meters and felt good, but toward the end I totally started slowing down. Needless to say I am happy to be home. It was hard, but I love how I feel now that its done. I feel accomplished. But like I said, ready for bed. :
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Forrest Gump
Good Afternoon,
Alright everybody we have hit a bump in the road. I have been working out so much, and trying to run this mile that i have slightly injured my knee. I went to the emergency room last night, my leg and knee were swollen. I was hoping the Dr. would say there was fluid around my knee or something extreme like that, but no fluid nothing extreme. I have been working my body in overtime and i needed some rest. I'm laying here in bed bored out of my mind with my leg elevated on ice. It has been the most boring morning of my life. All I can think about is working out. I missed my boot camp work out this morning, and its strange that I was so upset about it. I want to lose this weight so bad but i have to go about it the right way. Yesterday i got up early and went to the Payne Center. I wanted to start working on the mile run really hard. I have 18 days to get to this mile. When i get there i ask the little guy how many times around the track is a mile, he tells me 8. I still think he is wrong for some reason but i started stretching and running. As i was running two very emotional things happened. The first i was listening to Marvin Sap's song "More than a Conqueror", while running. I felt inspired because ive learned that you have to stay positive in anything that you set out to do. I want to lose so much weight, and i have so many things i want to do when i do, but it all takes time. I do know that i am more than a conqueror through him who loves me. I will accomplish this goal, it may take two years but ill do it. Having this knee injury is just a little road block but it wont stop me. Second i got emotional running thinking about Forrest Gump. I have watched this movie a 1,000 times and i can quote it from beginning to end. As im running im thinking about the scene when Forrest is a little boy, and the kids are making fun of him and throwing rocks. i started gaining weight around the 3rd grade, and kids always made fun of me for it. Luckily I had a powerful tongue, and could easily embarrass the shit out of them, but as i grew older the pain was masked. I remember this scene because Forrest had these braces on his legs, and he couldn't walk well. They didn't even want him sitting on the bus next to them, except for Jenny. When they started throwing the rocks jenny helped him up and told him to run. When he started running the braces started falling apart and were loosened from his legs. The braces falling from his legs is so symbolic for me. I have dealt with this weight for so long, and as i continue to run i can see the braces falling off. i can see the pain being loosened, and the joy being tightened. I imagine what Forrest was thinking as he was running for his life, he was scared, and not sure where to go. i do know one thing he always had jenny right there beside him. Im so thankful that i have so many jenny's by my side. Constantly encouraging me to run, and run faster. this journey has taken to a mental place that i thought i woudl never be at. A place of peace, confidence, and happiness. Normally around my birthday i get a little depressed, beacause i see all of my other friends success at this age. This year is a little different, im running, im like Forrest, and i wont stop until i get there. I don't know where "there" is but i know that's where im running. Thank you guys for being my Jenny and im so proud to be your Forrest.
Alright everybody we have hit a bump in the road. I have been working out so much, and trying to run this mile that i have slightly injured my knee. I went to the emergency room last night, my leg and knee were swollen. I was hoping the Dr. would say there was fluid around my knee or something extreme like that, but no fluid nothing extreme. I have been working my body in overtime and i needed some rest. I'm laying here in bed bored out of my mind with my leg elevated on ice. It has been the most boring morning of my life. All I can think about is working out. I missed my boot camp work out this morning, and its strange that I was so upset about it. I want to lose this weight so bad but i have to go about it the right way. Yesterday i got up early and went to the Payne Center. I wanted to start working on the mile run really hard. I have 18 days to get to this mile. When i get there i ask the little guy how many times around the track is a mile, he tells me 8. I still think he is wrong for some reason but i started stretching and running. As i was running two very emotional things happened. The first i was listening to Marvin Sap's song "More than a Conqueror", while running. I felt inspired because ive learned that you have to stay positive in anything that you set out to do. I want to lose so much weight, and i have so many things i want to do when i do, but it all takes time. I do know that i am more than a conqueror through him who loves me. I will accomplish this goal, it may take two years but ill do it. Having this knee injury is just a little road block but it wont stop me. Second i got emotional running thinking about Forrest Gump. I have watched this movie a 1,000 times and i can quote it from beginning to end. As im running im thinking about the scene when Forrest is a little boy, and the kids are making fun of him and throwing rocks. i started gaining weight around the 3rd grade, and kids always made fun of me for it. Luckily I had a powerful tongue, and could easily embarrass the shit out of them, but as i grew older the pain was masked. I remember this scene because Forrest had these braces on his legs, and he couldn't walk well. They didn't even want him sitting on the bus next to them, except for Jenny. When they started throwing the rocks jenny helped him up and told him to run. When he started running the braces started falling apart and were loosened from his legs. The braces falling from his legs is so symbolic for me. I have dealt with this weight for so long, and as i continue to run i can see the braces falling off. i can see the pain being loosened, and the joy being tightened. I imagine what Forrest was thinking as he was running for his life, he was scared, and not sure where to go. i do know one thing he always had jenny right there beside him. Im so thankful that i have so many jenny's by my side. Constantly encouraging me to run, and run faster. this journey has taken to a mental place that i thought i woudl never be at. A place of peace, confidence, and happiness. Normally around my birthday i get a little depressed, beacause i see all of my other friends success at this age. This year is a little different, im running, im like Forrest, and i wont stop until i get there. I don't know where "there" is but i know that's where im running. Thank you guys for being my Jenny and im so proud to be your Forrest.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Push it Real Good!
Good Morning People,
This is week four of this journey. I have to admit i was a little upset with myself last week. I only lost 4 pounds, i was looking to lose around 6. I had a few little cheats as ill call them and im sure they are the reason why i didnt lose as much as i wanted to. I am currently in death con 5 mode, ready to give it all i have plus a little more. The next four weeks im going to push myself until i reach these goals. Mardi Gras is right around the corner and this shirt is still hanging in the hallway, i must wear it. I also have roughly 18 days to run this mile, im closer and closer each day. Ive learned that we often our our worst enemies. I have got to push myself so i can be satisfied with the outcome. This morning i was excited to get to the gym and workout. Our warm up consisted of 25 jumping jacks, 10 squats, 10 push-ups, and 5 Burpees, three rounds. Its strange that the warm up is no longer that hard for me. When we first started i thought i was gonna die after the warm up, but now it just leaves me wanting more. Our workout this morning consisted of Sit-ups, ring pulls, squats, and push ups. We had to stay at each station 4 minutes doing each work out 20 sec and then a 10 sec break. My goal for each station was to get to 5 reps for 8 rounds in the 4 min. It was an extremely hard workout. round 1 and 2 are easy, after that the pain sets in and you really just wanna lay on the ground. Every workout im constantly amazed that i am finishing it. Never had i imagined that I would be the person i am right now. I mean im buying fresh meat, fruit and veggies. i used to buy frozen pizza, wings, white powdered donuts, and 2 gallons of chocolate milk. Now Im this healthy fat guy, im sort of like a hybrid Tahoe, big but good for ya. I had the pleasure of talking to my wonderful mother this morning, who by the way said she did not want to be mentioned in the blog. She knows that is an impossibility for me. My mother is doing zumba, and im so proud of her. She said she feels like Beyonce, clearly shes not, but she has a few moves in there. As i walked around Walmart this morning, im sure everybody heard our conversation, as we tend to talk loud on the phone with each other. One of the greatest things we talked about was a lifestyle change. I told her im not on a diet, thsi is a lifestyle change, a transformation, we have to start paying more attention what we put in our bodies. if we treated our bodies like we do our cars we would be much better off. My mother is such an amazing woman, who by her actions has taught me so much. People often say that im such a funny guy, i get my humor from my mother, she cracks me up. As children she was always pushing us to do great things, and to be great people. three years ago she almost died, and now she is up doing zumba three days a week. She is an inspiration to me because she continues to push her sel;f and learn new things. As i journey forward, ill continue to have her words of wisdom in my head. I am going to push, and push untill i cant go any further, the first step is getting up. Salt and pepper said it best.
This is week four of this journey. I have to admit i was a little upset with myself last week. I only lost 4 pounds, i was looking to lose around 6. I had a few little cheats as ill call them and im sure they are the reason why i didnt lose as much as i wanted to. I am currently in death con 5 mode, ready to give it all i have plus a little more. The next four weeks im going to push myself until i reach these goals. Mardi Gras is right around the corner and this shirt is still hanging in the hallway, i must wear it. I also have roughly 18 days to run this mile, im closer and closer each day. Ive learned that we often our our worst enemies. I have got to push myself so i can be satisfied with the outcome. This morning i was excited to get to the gym and workout. Our warm up consisted of 25 jumping jacks, 10 squats, 10 push-ups, and 5 Burpees, three rounds. Its strange that the warm up is no longer that hard for me. When we first started i thought i was gonna die after the warm up, but now it just leaves me wanting more. Our workout this morning consisted of Sit-ups, ring pulls, squats, and push ups. We had to stay at each station 4 minutes doing each work out 20 sec and then a 10 sec break. My goal for each station was to get to 5 reps for 8 rounds in the 4 min. It was an extremely hard workout. round 1 and 2 are easy, after that the pain sets in and you really just wanna lay on the ground. Every workout im constantly amazed that i am finishing it. Never had i imagined that I would be the person i am right now. I mean im buying fresh meat, fruit and veggies. i used to buy frozen pizza, wings, white powdered donuts, and 2 gallons of chocolate milk. Now Im this healthy fat guy, im sort of like a hybrid Tahoe, big but good for ya. I had the pleasure of talking to my wonderful mother this morning, who by the way said she did not want to be mentioned in the blog. She knows that is an impossibility for me. My mother is doing zumba, and im so proud of her. She said she feels like Beyonce, clearly shes not, but she has a few moves in there. As i walked around Walmart this morning, im sure everybody heard our conversation, as we tend to talk loud on the phone with each other. One of the greatest things we talked about was a lifestyle change. I told her im not on a diet, thsi is a lifestyle change, a transformation, we have to start paying more attention what we put in our bodies. if we treated our bodies like we do our cars we would be much better off. My mother is such an amazing woman, who by her actions has taught me so much. People often say that im such a funny guy, i get my humor from my mother, she cracks me up. As children she was always pushing us to do great things, and to be great people. three years ago she almost died, and now she is up doing zumba three days a week. She is an inspiration to me because she continues to push her sel;f and learn new things. As i journey forward, ill continue to have her words of wisdom in my head. I am going to push, and push untill i cant go any further, the first step is getting up. Salt and pepper said it best.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Saturday Morning Cardios
Good Evening,
Its been a busy weekend. Sorry for being late with the blog. This Saturday morning was my first Saturday workout with the group. Every Saturday I'm bringing a guest and they are going to blog about their experience at Versus. My first guest was Krista. Krista thinks she is a work out master. I remember good times when i would sit on her couch eating krispy kreme donuts as she completed her P90X. The only encouraging words i had for her were " Superman" and "Banana". lol. She has always worked out, and she has an amazing body to prove it. I just knew she would want to be my first guest. The whole week we grew excited and nervous at the same time. I did not know what Nathan was going to have us do, but i knew it would be challenging. I go to pick Krista up, and she comes outside all decked out like she was going to play tennis with one of the housewives of Beverly hills. Soon i noticed the nervousness in her eyes. As we pulled up to Jackson Trail, i see a ton of fit, skinny, good looking people, stretching and talking. Instantly i wanted to turn around and go back home. Luckily i had my ace right there to keep me focused. We did our normal warm-up, which for Krista was a breeze she finished ahead of me and then started stretching like she in the Olympics. Our workout for the day would be to run 200 meters, at the end of the 200 meters, we had to do 10 kick-backs. Run 200 meters back to the start line and do 10 jumping squats, we did all of this for 20 min AMRP. I did 3.5 rounds, which i am still amazed at. Krista completed 5, and some guy in blue did like 7. It was an awesome workout and probably one of my favorites. Its such a nice feeling to run in the wild as i would call it. I will tell you that if you run on the trace have your middle finger ready for the bikers. Supposedly the bikers have the right of way, i don't agree. The bikers on the trace were a little cocky and rude, if i had not been out of breath i would have thrown a stick into one mans spokes, take that "coming on your left". Here is Krista's Blog about our workout, you will notice that she uses great grammar, it should be a much needed re leaf for all of my educated followers.
Krista take it away:..........
What did I just do? I took my level of pride from a 7.5 to a 1.3. Of course I knew the "versus workout" would be challenging. . . I prepared myself early- had a healthy dinner the night before and turned in early for plenty of rest. 8 am, alarm goes off, I'm up and out of bed like it's the first day of school. I put on my cute workout gear, eat my 70 cal. Light and Fit Activia yogurt, grab my bottled water, bandage my blister and wait for Matt's text. We arrive at the Jackson Trace about 9 a.m. There are about 20 or so people standing around, stretching and such. I'm excited. I've worked out my whole life and just recently started eating healthier, jump roping, plyometrics, and all around trying to do better. I'd seen changes in myself and was ready to be put to a different challenge. We join the group. We all know that no matter how much one may argue against it, there is a certain competition among the female class. Whether that be a good or bad thing, it's inevitable. So not only do I want to do my best, I also don't want to be the slowest chick out there looking like I've never set foot in a gym. We begin our stretch and matt tells me I'm showing off. "Um, this is how I stretch, Matthew." Then I refer to The Office episode where Michael Scott hosts a Run for Rabies Cure and gets mad because Toby is stretching and taking it too seriously. Lol. Anyway, Nathan- the instructor- tells us our workout is to run to the orange cone (400 meters), do 15 kick backs, run back and do 15 jump squats. Each set was 1 round and we had to do as many rounds as we could in 20 minutes. Easy, right?? So we start lining up and he tells those who will be running faster, to get towards the front. Matt goes straight to the back. Lol So I get somewhat toward the front but not too far so I don't get embarrassed. We are about to begin when a girl comes and gets in right front of me. Immediately I'm thinking "Oh, for real?" But when we started running, I was glad she did bc then I would've been more embarrassed. She was good and unknowingly challenged me to do better. The beginning was basically a "ooh look at me, I'm running fast and I'm really fit," the middle was more like "uh, for real!?" and the end was a "is he ever going to stop us?!" Nathan was very encouraging. He didn't yell, he only encouraged positively in a soft voice. Which I found comforting in my time of pain. At round 5, he tells us "30 more seconds, get your last squat jumps in." "Happily!!," I thought. As soon as I was done, I checked around for my partner. There he was coming up right behind us all with such integrity. He did 3.5 rounds! I was so proud of him. I ran to him so we could finish together like we were a real team. I should've started yelling at him like a drill sargeant just to see what he'd do. Lol So I go to stretch, right? And I notice this girl staring at me so I look up at her and she says "Um, are you going to vomit??" ... Wow. "No, just stretching, thanks!" We finished the workout off with about 10 group pictures and headed back with a new sense of self. I'm glad I did it and if anyone wants to back out now, I'll gladly fill their spot.
Its been a busy weekend. Sorry for being late with the blog. This Saturday morning was my first Saturday workout with the group. Every Saturday I'm bringing a guest and they are going to blog about their experience at Versus. My first guest was Krista. Krista thinks she is a work out master. I remember good times when i would sit on her couch eating krispy kreme donuts as she completed her P90X. The only encouraging words i had for her were " Superman" and "Banana". lol. She has always worked out, and she has an amazing body to prove it. I just knew she would want to be my first guest. The whole week we grew excited and nervous at the same time. I did not know what Nathan was going to have us do, but i knew it would be challenging. I go to pick Krista up, and she comes outside all decked out like she was going to play tennis with one of the housewives of Beverly hills. Soon i noticed the nervousness in her eyes. As we pulled up to Jackson Trail, i see a ton of fit, skinny, good looking people, stretching and talking. Instantly i wanted to turn around and go back home. Luckily i had my ace right there to keep me focused. We did our normal warm-up, which for Krista was a breeze she finished ahead of me and then started stretching like she in the Olympics. Our workout for the day would be to run 200 meters, at the end of the 200 meters, we had to do 10 kick-backs. Run 200 meters back to the start line and do 10 jumping squats, we did all of this for 20 min AMRP. I did 3.5 rounds, which i am still amazed at. Krista completed 5, and some guy in blue did like 7. It was an awesome workout and probably one of my favorites. Its such a nice feeling to run in the wild as i would call it. I will tell you that if you run on the trace have your middle finger ready for the bikers. Supposedly the bikers have the right of way, i don't agree. The bikers on the trace were a little cocky and rude, if i had not been out of breath i would have thrown a stick into one mans spokes, take that "coming on your left". Here is Krista's Blog about our workout, you will notice that she uses great grammar, it should be a much needed re leaf for all of my educated followers.
Krista take it away:..........
What did I just do? I took my level of pride from a 7.5 to a 1.3. Of course I knew the "versus workout" would be challenging. . . I prepared myself early- had a healthy dinner the night before and turned in early for plenty of rest. 8 am, alarm goes off, I'm up and out of bed like it's the first day of school. I put on my cute workout gear, eat my 70 cal. Light and Fit Activia yogurt, grab my bottled water, bandage my blister and wait for Matt's text. We arrive at the Jackson Trace about 9 a.m. There are about 20 or so people standing around, stretching and such. I'm excited. I've worked out my whole life and just recently started eating healthier, jump roping, plyometrics, and all around trying to do better. I'd seen changes in myself and was ready to be put to a different challenge. We join the group. We all know that no matter how much one may argue against it, there is a certain competition among the female class. Whether that be a good or bad thing, it's inevitable. So not only do I want to do my best, I also don't want to be the slowest chick out there looking like I've never set foot in a gym. We begin our stretch and matt tells me I'm showing off. "Um, this is how I stretch, Matthew." Then I refer to The Office episode where Michael Scott hosts a Run for Rabies Cure and gets mad because Toby is stretching and taking it too seriously. Lol. Anyway, Nathan- the instructor- tells us our workout is to run to the orange cone (400 meters), do 15 kick backs, run back and do 15 jump squats. Each set was 1 round and we had to do as many rounds as we could in 20 minutes. Easy, right?? So we start lining up and he tells those who will be running faster, to get towards the front. Matt goes straight to the back. Lol So I get somewhat toward the front but not too far so I don't get embarrassed. We are about to begin when a girl comes and gets in right front of me. Immediately I'm thinking "Oh, for real?" But when we started running, I was glad she did bc then I would've been more embarrassed. She was good and unknowingly challenged me to do better. The beginning was basically a "ooh look at me, I'm running fast and I'm really fit," the middle was more like "uh, for real!?" and the end was a "is he ever going to stop us?!" Nathan was very encouraging. He didn't yell, he only encouraged positively in a soft voice. Which I found comforting in my time of pain. At round 5, he tells us "30 more seconds, get your last squat jumps in." "Happily!!," I thought. As soon as I was done, I checked around for my partner. There he was coming up right behind us all with such integrity. He did 3.5 rounds! I was so proud of him. I ran to him so we could finish together like we were a real team. I should've started yelling at him like a drill sargeant just to see what he'd do. Lol So I go to stretch, right? And I notice this girl staring at me so I look up at her and she says "Um, are you going to vomit??" ... Wow. "No, just stretching, thanks!" We finished the workout off with about 10 group pictures and headed back with a new sense of self. I'm glad I did it and if anyone wants to back out now, I'll gladly fill their spot.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
WOW!
Good Afternoon Everyone,
Im sitting here in my office and all i can say is wow! It was a pretty intense morning to say the least. I pushed myself further than i have ever been pushed. At one point during the workout i was like " I AM NOT DOING ALL THIS SHIT, IM GONNA STOP AT ROUND 6, PRETEND TO THROW UP, AND TAKE MY ASS HOME" I had already given up on myself, but i remembered all the people who are following me and didn't want to let yall down. So if you see me around and im moving slow blame yourselves. LOL . I start with the warm-up. Today's warm up was 25 jumping jacks, 5 push-up, 10 sit-ups,5 jumping squats, and 5 groiners (bur pee's little cousin), Three times. I know what you are thinking, that is a work out in its self. After I almost died from the warm up, we moved into our WOD. The WOD was Burpees, sit-ups, and weight squats. Weight squats are squats with 10llb dumbbells that you have. When you squat, as you thrust up, you use the momentum to raise the dumbbells and repeat. We did all that in what i call the COUNTDOWN FROM HELL. We did 10 each, then 9, then 8, then 7, then 6, then 5, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Around round 6, i was determined to give up, my legs were buckling, i had been passing gas for the last ten minutes, and i was right out tired. I never would have imagined that i would be able to finish this workout. As i lay there on the floor in a pool of my own sweat, i knew i had to finish if not for myself but for my followers. The whole time im thinking what the hell have i gotten myself into. Why didnt i try to play the piano, or learn a new language, there is nothing like a Fat, Bilingual, Pianist, its a classic look. I didnt learn the piano, beacuse it was not going to change my life. I wanted a lifestyle change and thats what ive got. I pushed on through and made it to the end. I will never forget this day, this was the day that i stopped using excuses. Everybody has an excuse as to why they cant and won't do something. If you stop using those excuses and just get the shit done, you will feel 100 percent better. I could have easily got up, and left and there was nobody there to stop me. Sometimes you just have to encourage yourself and keep going. In the Black church we sing a song " Lord, im running, trying to make a 100, 99 and half wont do, Lord im running, trying to make a 100, 99 and half wont do". That song got me through this work-out this morning. I was not gonna be happy if i stopped at round 6, i had to keep going. When i got to round 1, i wanted to start crying because i had finally completed something that challenged me, i had overcome an obstacle and made it my bitch. For years i had given up on so many things. I wanted to have a Masters degree by now, I wanted to have a huge house in the hills, i wanted to be a senator and educator, i was gonna be a star. I let small little challenges stop me from completing my dreams. Today i got confirmation from myself that I can do all things. My whole life i have been going to church and hearing " I can do all things, through Christ that strengthens me," I never really understood the meaning until this morning. I had to ask for help this morning. I was laying there thinking i cant do this, Lord help me. I know what you are saying, I cuss, I drink, Im gay, im not the friendliest person you know, but i know when to ask for his help. I swear to GOD like a mighty flowing wind, he gave me a much need push. I hate to go all CHURCHY on yall, but im giving real emotion. At the end of the work out, i stood there amazed, that i did this and all i could say was WOW! I stepped outside the Gym, rain pouring, my legs, back and butt riddled with pain, and thought to myself WOW!
Im sitting here in my office and all i can say is wow! It was a pretty intense morning to say the least. I pushed myself further than i have ever been pushed. At one point during the workout i was like " I AM NOT DOING ALL THIS SHIT, IM GONNA STOP AT ROUND 6, PRETEND TO THROW UP, AND TAKE MY ASS HOME" I had already given up on myself, but i remembered all the people who are following me and didn't want to let yall down. So if you see me around and im moving slow blame yourselves. LOL . I start with the warm-up. Today's warm up was 25 jumping jacks, 5 push-up, 10 sit-ups,5 jumping squats, and 5 groiners (bur pee's little cousin), Three times. I know what you are thinking, that is a work out in its self. After I almost died from the warm up, we moved into our WOD. The WOD was Burpees, sit-ups, and weight squats. Weight squats are squats with 10llb dumbbells that you have. When you squat, as you thrust up, you use the momentum to raise the dumbbells and repeat. We did all that in what i call the COUNTDOWN FROM HELL. We did 10 each, then 9, then 8, then 7, then 6, then 5, then 4, then 3, then 2, then 1. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Around round 6, i was determined to give up, my legs were buckling, i had been passing gas for the last ten minutes, and i was right out tired. I never would have imagined that i would be able to finish this workout. As i lay there on the floor in a pool of my own sweat, i knew i had to finish if not for myself but for my followers. The whole time im thinking what the hell have i gotten myself into. Why didnt i try to play the piano, or learn a new language, there is nothing like a Fat, Bilingual, Pianist, its a classic look. I didnt learn the piano, beacuse it was not going to change my life. I wanted a lifestyle change and thats what ive got. I pushed on through and made it to the end. I will never forget this day, this was the day that i stopped using excuses. Everybody has an excuse as to why they cant and won't do something. If you stop using those excuses and just get the shit done, you will feel 100 percent better. I could have easily got up, and left and there was nobody there to stop me. Sometimes you just have to encourage yourself and keep going. In the Black church we sing a song " Lord, im running, trying to make a 100, 99 and half wont do, Lord im running, trying to make a 100, 99 and half wont do". That song got me through this work-out this morning. I was not gonna be happy if i stopped at round 6, i had to keep going. When i got to round 1, i wanted to start crying because i had finally completed something that challenged me, i had overcome an obstacle and made it my bitch. For years i had given up on so many things. I wanted to have a Masters degree by now, I wanted to have a huge house in the hills, i wanted to be a senator and educator, i was gonna be a star. I let small little challenges stop me from completing my dreams. Today i got confirmation from myself that I can do all things. My whole life i have been going to church and hearing " I can do all things, through Christ that strengthens me," I never really understood the meaning until this morning. I had to ask for help this morning. I was laying there thinking i cant do this, Lord help me. I know what you are saying, I cuss, I drink, Im gay, im not the friendliest person you know, but i know when to ask for his help. I swear to GOD like a mighty flowing wind, he gave me a much need push. I hate to go all CHURCHY on yall, but im giving real emotion. At the end of the work out, i stood there amazed, that i did this and all i could say was WOW! I stepped outside the Gym, rain pouring, my legs, back and butt riddled with pain, and thought to myself WOW!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Gummy Bear
Good Evening Everyone,
Sorry for being so late posting the new blog. im sure everyone lost some sleep today waiting on me to post. You can read my blog and then go to sleep and have a good nights rest. Today's workout was a bitch. We did our normal warm up, but we added jumping squats. Im pretty sure they are called something else, but i can not remember the name. You squat all the way down like an old Asian man and then you jump into the sky. Im not racist its the only thing i could think of. They were pretty rough but i am amazed that i was able to do it. On to the WOD. WOD stands for work out of the day. Today's WOD was a 20min AMRP. AMRP means As many reps as possible. Our Goal was to get to five, i got to four and i was beyond proud. We did a down and back run,sit-ups, walking lunges and kettle bells. Kettle bells was actually my favorite, i know that may surprise some people, but i enjoy lifting weights and i felt like i was. A kettle bell is this black ball with a hook on it (get your mind out of the gutter..lol...lol..) Anyways and you stand with your feet square, you squat and bring the kettle bell forward with your arms straight to your eyesight. It was pretty tough but i really enjoyed it. I didn't think i was gonna make it to four rounds. I had already told myself i was gonna shoot for three. When i had completed three my body was screaming " sit yo fat ass down". Nathan being the great PT he is pushed and encouraged me to do one more round. I pushed myself and made it through. There is no greater felling than not giving up. I have to say the first time i met Nathan he was completely drunk at a bar in New Orleans for the Super Bowl. He was leaning all the way back but standing up somehow. I never thought that i would have so much respect for a person. Which is rare for me because as we all know I'm never intimidated by anyone nor impressed, it takes a while. Nathan has shown himself worthy of my respect. Anybody that can get me to run 800 meters deserves much respect. Had it been ten years ago i would have cursed him out and probably thrown him off the loading dock. Which by the way Steve we need to get cleaned up, we have to run past an old rusty grill and a bunch of cheap wood. Im sure its a hazard. LOL..sorry Steve. I'm only two weeks into the gym and im already trying to organize it. lol..its what i do! I feel amazing and i think im starting to look amazing. Im a server and every table has to have drinks. I used to hate getting drinks because my feet would hurt and i gotta walk all the way to the back..yada yada yada. I know that sounds crazy. When you are overweight you try to make everything as simple as possible if they ordered sweet tea or water the pitcher was right there on the dining room floor and i would not have to walk back to back to get a refill. God forbid they order a coke they better drink it slow they were never gonna get a refill unless Derrick happened to walk by the table. LOL. It was a lazy lifestyle. Now i enjoy walking, I enjoy being busy at work because i feel like i am working out while working. Its an amazing feeling to no longer be so lazy. I remember days when i used to have a bag of M&M;s under my bed along with a 12 pack of fruit punch just in case i got hungry or thirsty at night. I know its so shameful but i did. Ever since i was little i have had a love affair with gummy bears. I still do, they are just awesome pieces of goodness. The gummy bear was my comfort food. I remember i would get 5 dollars a week allowance for cleaning my room. As soon as my mama would put it in my hand i would walk down the street to Vickers Gas Station and buy the 2 for dollar bag of gummy bears. I was the happiest child alive. As i grew older and fatter the gummy bear continued to be a major part of my life. Its all i ever wanted. Its strange how we let certian things that are meant to be pleasurable contribute to our misery. The gummy bear has contributed to this misery we call obesity. No more gummy bears for me, well maybe one or two..just not one or two bags. This week i will be focusing on running that mile Mardi Gras is right around the corner and i have got to meet this goal. Everyday i pass the grey shirt hanging in my hallway and I WILL BE WEARING THAT SHIRT SOON. Maybe if i lose enough weight i can become a stripper, or i could just sit on a plane with no seat belt extension.
Sorry for being so late posting the new blog. im sure everyone lost some sleep today waiting on me to post. You can read my blog and then go to sleep and have a good nights rest. Today's workout was a bitch. We did our normal warm up, but we added jumping squats. Im pretty sure they are called something else, but i can not remember the name. You squat all the way down like an old Asian man and then you jump into the sky. Im not racist its the only thing i could think of. They were pretty rough but i am amazed that i was able to do it. On to the WOD. WOD stands for work out of the day. Today's WOD was a 20min AMRP. AMRP means As many reps as possible. Our Goal was to get to five, i got to four and i was beyond proud. We did a down and back run,sit-ups, walking lunges and kettle bells. Kettle bells was actually my favorite, i know that may surprise some people, but i enjoy lifting weights and i felt like i was. A kettle bell is this black ball with a hook on it (get your mind out of the gutter..lol...lol..) Anyways and you stand with your feet square, you squat and bring the kettle bell forward with your arms straight to your eyesight. It was pretty tough but i really enjoyed it. I didn't think i was gonna make it to four rounds. I had already told myself i was gonna shoot for three. When i had completed three my body was screaming " sit yo fat ass down". Nathan being the great PT he is pushed and encouraged me to do one more round. I pushed myself and made it through. There is no greater felling than not giving up. I have to say the first time i met Nathan he was completely drunk at a bar in New Orleans for the Super Bowl. He was leaning all the way back but standing up somehow. I never thought that i would have so much respect for a person. Which is rare for me because as we all know I'm never intimidated by anyone nor impressed, it takes a while. Nathan has shown himself worthy of my respect. Anybody that can get me to run 800 meters deserves much respect. Had it been ten years ago i would have cursed him out and probably thrown him off the loading dock. Which by the way Steve we need to get cleaned up, we have to run past an old rusty grill and a bunch of cheap wood. Im sure its a hazard. LOL..sorry Steve. I'm only two weeks into the gym and im already trying to organize it. lol..its what i do! I feel amazing and i think im starting to look amazing. Im a server and every table has to have drinks. I used to hate getting drinks because my feet would hurt and i gotta walk all the way to the back..yada yada yada. I know that sounds crazy. When you are overweight you try to make everything as simple as possible if they ordered sweet tea or water the pitcher was right there on the dining room floor and i would not have to walk back to back to get a refill. God forbid they order a coke they better drink it slow they were never gonna get a refill unless Derrick happened to walk by the table. LOL. It was a lazy lifestyle. Now i enjoy walking, I enjoy being busy at work because i feel like i am working out while working. Its an amazing feeling to no longer be so lazy. I remember days when i used to have a bag of M&M;s under my bed along with a 12 pack of fruit punch just in case i got hungry or thirsty at night. I know its so shameful but i did. Ever since i was little i have had a love affair with gummy bears. I still do, they are just awesome pieces of goodness. The gummy bear was my comfort food. I remember i would get 5 dollars a week allowance for cleaning my room. As soon as my mama would put it in my hand i would walk down the street to Vickers Gas Station and buy the 2 for dollar bag of gummy bears. I was the happiest child alive. As i grew older and fatter the gummy bear continued to be a major part of my life. Its all i ever wanted. Its strange how we let certian things that are meant to be pleasurable contribute to our misery. The gummy bear has contributed to this misery we call obesity. No more gummy bears for me, well maybe one or two..just not one or two bags. This week i will be focusing on running that mile Mardi Gras is right around the corner and i have got to meet this goal. Everyday i pass the grey shirt hanging in my hallway and I WILL BE WEARING THAT SHIRT SOON. Maybe if i lose enough weight i can become a stripper, or i could just sit on a plane with no seat belt extension.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Lean Meat, Team work and Burpees Oh My!)
Good Morning,
Well it's been a full week of dieting and working out. I feel awesome and like I can rule the world. This mornings workout was no fucking joke. The warm up as you know always kill me. I told my self that I wanted to put more effort in the warm up and I'll feel better during the workout. This morning I did just that and I felt like I did a better job. Our warm up consisted of 25 jumping jacks, 10 PVC pipe squats, 5 push ups, 10 sit ups, and run. We did this three times around the second round is when I usually say to myself " just leave and go to McDonald's and get the usual", but I am so determined to lose this weight I kept going. If McDonald's would come out with a breakfast burrito, hash brown and hi-c orange gum that would make me happy, kinda like the one in willy wanka. After the warm up we always do a nice stretch and PT( Nathan) coaches us on diet and nutrition. The work out this morning consisted of 2-6 min rounds of the following: 15 BURPEES( I'll explain what these are in a minute) sit ups, squats and ring pulls. We got a 1 min break in between praise God. Burpees are the devils gift to fat people in the world along with fried Oreos and supersonic cheeseburgers. Imagine you are standing up,then fall into the pushup position , and bring your feet towards your hands lift your body up and clap( I saw barbara clap so I did the clap I'm not sure if we were supposed to clap, but it added some flare to it so I was fine...lol) and repeat. I know it's some bull shit. Doing BURPEES has been the only thing along this journey that I have felt defeated on. I hate losing in anything. Wheather it be the casino, monolopy, cranium or coloring. I hate losing. I felt like I lost today with the BURPEES so I'm determined to win next tie we do them I'm gonna practice at home. I have to get these down. Good thing was the OGM's hate them too. OGM's are the oak grove moms. Any group of ladies that are in my life have to have a name it just makes me feel better. I have my bayside high girls, and of course the angels. The angles by the way have started working out and eating healthy too I'm so proud of them. Bayside high has always worked out I just never listened lol. After the workout for the day we did a 400 meter run, which I ran more than I walked this time. I'm getting closer and closer to that mile. Bourbon stret better watch out I'm gonna be pounds lighter and rolling with three healthier women. When I was done I got a personal consolation from Steve and Nathan. When I say personal consolation it makes me feel better. During our conversation they went over my diet log. I can no long have A&w diet footbed, which by the way is awesome. Somehow I'll ween myself off of it. I also learned that I have got eat more lean meats and increased meal frequency. These men are so knowledgeable in everything fitness, glad to have them and their company on my team. Next week I'm going to three workouts a week, I'll be joining in on the Saturday workout and I'll be having a guest join me as well. After the workout my guest will blog through my blog about their experience, this is the scheduled guest, Krista, Amanda,Katie, Sherri, Jennifer, and Ruth. I hope these ladies are ready, I feel like Amanda and Sherri are going to try to out do me so I'm gonna prepare extra for their workout. Teamwork is so important in all of this and I really wanna thank the OGm's for being so helpful and encouraging, stay focused ladies, Barbara lay off the bread, and Andra leave the animal cookies alone. Untill next week..stay healthy and remember if ya wanna be lean ya gotta eat lean( Nathan said that) I just know I make it sound better!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
A Sore Winner
Good Morning Everyone,
Just left Versus, and I am worn out. We had an amazing workout. Our workout this morning was pretty rough for me. Its the warm up that always gets me and for some reason i feel like the warm up should be the work out...but its not. Our warm up consist of a run: down and back, the infamous SUPERMAN, 25 jumping jacks,squats, and sit ups. We did the warm up three times. At this point I'm like what the Hell just let us go home. Then on to the workout. The workout consisted of 5 stations, one minute at each station, three times. the stations were sit-ups, push-ups,air squats,running, and ball drops. Ill be the first to tell you that ball drops is about some bull shit. You have this 15LB ball and you drop it on the ground, and follow to pick it up. Ball drops are basically squats with extra pain. I did it though. I will say that these women I work out with are some positive ladies. I feel like a superstar when I walk in. "hey Matthew, looking good, keep up the good work." Sometimes i feel like i should respond like Johnny Bravo..."Thank ya mama" ..lol..that is so funny to me. In all seriousness they are amazing, and I'm glad i have them there to encourage me. I would return the favor but i am normally out of breath. Yall know I'm stuck up, so I cant call Nathan our coach, he has to be my personal trainer. It just makes me sound rich. That guy is amazing, always encouraging, and uplifting. At the end of our workout we had to do a 400 meter run, on the street, with moving cars, and there was a lite drizzle. In my eyesight it was a thunderstorm.I walked most of the way but at the end there he was yelling (well he really doesn't yell, it was more like him just loud talking) for me to finish it out running. While i was walking i saw him down there being that i was the last one, and i kept saying to my self.." I hope this motherfucker doesn't encourage me to run". He did and because i don't want to let him down nor myself i did, and i'm so proud to have him on my team. At the end of the run, we talked about dieting. I have got to kick it up a notch with my dieting more lean meats and veggies. He did say and i quote " when i go to the Mexican place, i get the fajitas and i just eat the meat, onions and green peppers, i eat a few chips and maybe a little sauce"..he basically told me, i can eat la Fiesta Brava again. I just now have a better understanding of what to eat. Chicken and broccoli it is. I feel amazing. My friend Holly has sort of been my inspiration for losing weight. She has lost a shit ton of weight. I've dealt with her weight loss not so well. At first i thought she was using drugs, and wasn't telling me. My assumption and lack of asking sort of separated us for a while last year. i felt like i wasn't there for her, and i'm sure she felt the same way. I remember we had this long talk one day , and when i say it got real...the shit got real. I saw her give me emotions that she never had before, and from that talk she said one thing that has stuck with me.."you were not there". It hit me like a pound of bricks. I realized that i wasn't. Holly has always been there for me no matter what,. whatever i needed, whenever, or wherever.I thank her for being so open and honest. I said to my self if Dub can do it so can I. My mother even said it " You need to get like dub!" Dub is Holly's nickname. I have so many people along this journey that have been here with me. I often say " Don't show up, when i blow up," and the response has always been " we are here now." (that doesn't mean yall will get any money when i blow up,Krista, Nicole, Double A, Jennifer, Sonyer, Dub, Latisha, Sherri, Ruth, or Brad). After last Thursdays workout, i could barley walk, or do any day to day activities. I was so sore that i wanted to go #2 standing up. It was an awesome feeling to be sore from working out and actually feeling the results. I am proud to be a sore winner, beats being a sore loser any day ( just don't play cranium against me!)
SORRY FOR THE SPELLING AND GRAMMAR I JUST DON'T CARE. I JUST WANNA GET MY EMOTIONS OUT, AND I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
Just left Versus, and I am worn out. We had an amazing workout. Our workout this morning was pretty rough for me. Its the warm up that always gets me and for some reason i feel like the warm up should be the work out...but its not. Our warm up consist of a run: down and back, the infamous SUPERMAN, 25 jumping jacks,squats, and sit ups. We did the warm up three times. At this point I'm like what the Hell just let us go home. Then on to the workout. The workout consisted of 5 stations, one minute at each station, three times. the stations were sit-ups, push-ups,air squats,running, and ball drops. Ill be the first to tell you that ball drops is about some bull shit. You have this 15LB ball and you drop it on the ground, and follow to pick it up. Ball drops are basically squats with extra pain. I did it though. I will say that these women I work out with are some positive ladies. I feel like a superstar when I walk in. "hey Matthew, looking good, keep up the good work." Sometimes i feel like i should respond like Johnny Bravo..."Thank ya mama" ..lol..that is so funny to me. In all seriousness they are amazing, and I'm glad i have them there to encourage me. I would return the favor but i am normally out of breath. Yall know I'm stuck up, so I cant call Nathan our coach, he has to be my personal trainer. It just makes me sound rich. That guy is amazing, always encouraging, and uplifting. At the end of our workout we had to do a 400 meter run, on the street, with moving cars, and there was a lite drizzle. In my eyesight it was a thunderstorm.I walked most of the way but at the end there he was yelling (well he really doesn't yell, it was more like him just loud talking) for me to finish it out running. While i was walking i saw him down there being that i was the last one, and i kept saying to my self.." I hope this motherfucker doesn't encourage me to run". He did and because i don't want to let him down nor myself i did, and i'm so proud to have him on my team. At the end of the run, we talked about dieting. I have got to kick it up a notch with my dieting more lean meats and veggies. He did say and i quote " when i go to the Mexican place, i get the fajitas and i just eat the meat, onions and green peppers, i eat a few chips and maybe a little sauce"..he basically told me, i can eat la Fiesta Brava again. I just now have a better understanding of what to eat. Chicken and broccoli it is. I feel amazing. My friend Holly has sort of been my inspiration for losing weight. She has lost a shit ton of weight. I've dealt with her weight loss not so well. At first i thought she was using drugs, and wasn't telling me. My assumption and lack of asking sort of separated us for a while last year. i felt like i wasn't there for her, and i'm sure she felt the same way. I remember we had this long talk one day , and when i say it got real...the shit got real. I saw her give me emotions that she never had before, and from that talk she said one thing that has stuck with me.."you were not there". It hit me like a pound of bricks. I realized that i wasn't. Holly has always been there for me no matter what,. whatever i needed, whenever, or wherever.I thank her for being so open and honest. I said to my self if Dub can do it so can I. My mother even said it " You need to get like dub!" Dub is Holly's nickname. I have so many people along this journey that have been here with me. I often say " Don't show up, when i blow up," and the response has always been " we are here now." (that doesn't mean yall will get any money when i blow up,Krista, Nicole, Double A, Jennifer, Sonyer, Dub, Latisha, Sherri, Ruth, or Brad). After last Thursdays workout, i could barley walk, or do any day to day activities. I was so sore that i wanted to go #2 standing up. It was an awesome feeling to be sore from working out and actually feeling the results. I am proud to be a sore winner, beats being a sore loser any day ( just don't play cranium against me!)
SORRY FOR THE SPELLING AND GRAMMAR I JUST DON'T CARE. I JUST WANNA GET MY EMOTIONS OUT, AND I GOT TO GO TO WORK.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
"Last Time," the words that saved my life
Good Morning,
Wow! Is all I can say. i get up this morning pumped and ready to go. I couldn't sleep a wink, from excitement and nervousness. I listen to nappy roots " Good day", and i jump in the car and head off to change my life. I couldn't even find the place. I was looking for this huge sign that would read " Versus: Welcome to Hell", no sign. Versus is in this small building and kinda looks like a garage. Its not the typical gym i am used to. I'm used to to a huge state of the art place, with loud TVs, music blaring, girls dressed like they are going to the club, and men with six packs and sweaty balls. What i found was a place full of positive energy. It was simple and straight to the point. As you all know I'm what they call stuck up. As i walked up the brick stairs into this loading dock they call a gym, i thought what the hell is this? I thought i was going to a "real' gym. I was at a real gym. A gym where the instructors know your name. You can look in their eyes and see the passion they have for fitness. the passion they have for you to become a better person. I was so encouraged and empowered. As the group started slowly walking in, i notice that im the only man in the class. I also notice that if you taped three of these women together i still weigh more than them. I did not let that get me down i was ready to go. The warm up..which i thought was the workout lasted forever. We then started doing the actual workout and this is where for a split second i was like FUCK THIS! I pressed on though. I was surrounded by these wonderful encouraging women. Women just like me that wanted to change, wanted a better body, and better health. They showed me the ropes and what i needed to do. Our instructor this short man, with a soft, and well spoken voice. When you think of boot camp, you think of fatigues, and drill sergeants. He was none of that. He was a well trained instructor, who with his soft words gave me pure hell. I thank him. We had to do 8 sets of each workout. We got a chance to rest in between. as i lay there on the ground, dripping with sweat, maybe a tear or three, i thought please say we are done, he never did. Then those famous words " Last TIME", were called out. It was like he could see the pain in my eyes and knew i needed rest. 'Last time", there is a last time for every thing. I have promised myself that this will be the last time i let my weight get out of control. The last time i let food control my life. Now i'm stepping into a new phrase the " First time". This was the first time i have truly given something my full dedication, but it wont be the last.
Wow! Is all I can say. i get up this morning pumped and ready to go. I couldn't sleep a wink, from excitement and nervousness. I listen to nappy roots " Good day", and i jump in the car and head off to change my life. I couldn't even find the place. I was looking for this huge sign that would read " Versus: Welcome to Hell", no sign. Versus is in this small building and kinda looks like a garage. Its not the typical gym i am used to. I'm used to to a huge state of the art place, with loud TVs, music blaring, girls dressed like they are going to the club, and men with six packs and sweaty balls. What i found was a place full of positive energy. It was simple and straight to the point. As you all know I'm what they call stuck up. As i walked up the brick stairs into this loading dock they call a gym, i thought what the hell is this? I thought i was going to a "real' gym. I was at a real gym. A gym where the instructors know your name. You can look in their eyes and see the passion they have for fitness. the passion they have for you to become a better person. I was so encouraged and empowered. As the group started slowly walking in, i notice that im the only man in the class. I also notice that if you taped three of these women together i still weigh more than them. I did not let that get me down i was ready to go. The warm up..which i thought was the workout lasted forever. We then started doing the actual workout and this is where for a split second i was like FUCK THIS! I pressed on though. I was surrounded by these wonderful encouraging women. Women just like me that wanted to change, wanted a better body, and better health. They showed me the ropes and what i needed to do. Our instructor this short man, with a soft, and well spoken voice. When you think of boot camp, you think of fatigues, and drill sergeants. He was none of that. He was a well trained instructor, who with his soft words gave me pure hell. I thank him. We had to do 8 sets of each workout. We got a chance to rest in between. as i lay there on the ground, dripping with sweat, maybe a tear or three, i thought please say we are done, he never did. Then those famous words " Last TIME", were called out. It was like he could see the pain in my eyes and knew i needed rest. 'Last time", there is a last time for every thing. I have promised myself that this will be the last time i let my weight get out of control. The last time i let food control my life. Now i'm stepping into a new phrase the " First time". This was the first time i have truly given something my full dedication, but it wont be the last.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Night that the Lights went out at Sonic
Good Evening,
I feel so stupid. I thought that the boot camp started on Jan 17, but it actually started on Jan 10. This put me into a real panic, I'm not ready, i don't want to start yet, and i don't have the money yet. I count all trials as joy. I had to prepare some how for this nightmare I'm putting myself through. I'm sharing all of my deepest thoughts, wants, and desires with possibly the whole word. This in its self is a challenge. I'm so used to being such a hard ass and not opening up to many people. Who do i blame for this, my father Eddie. He was such a hard man to deal with, treated people like shit, treated me like shit, and only cared about himself. That's what i thought of him my whole life until he died. Me and my brother had the privilege of going to his apartment to "clean up" after he died. I expected to find a huge life insurance policy, loads of cash, some gold, and some nice clothes. What i found was myself in 40 years. We were the same person, thought the same way, acted the same way, folded our clothes the same way, cooked for 400 people even though it was for one. person the same way. All these years of ignoring him, i was really hurting myself not him. This person that i hated was myself. He taught me through his actions to trust no man. He taught me through is actions to open up to no man. He taught me through is actions to never let anyone walk over you. He taught me through his actions to always care about that might dollar bill. He taught me how to be him. I'm grateful for that lesson because i have the opportunity to turn things around. I don't have to be alone, mean, hateful, and sneaky. Its OK to love, its OK to share, its OK give. Papa thank you for teaching how to be a man. I wish i had learned that we were the same person 10 years ago, and I'm sure my life would be better. Life isn't destined to be a walk in the park. Life is more like climbing a mountain. Right now I'm in the valley ready to start the climb to victory. Wow i didn't mean to get all Dr. Phil on y'all. Tonight was my last night of freedom. The last night i got to eat what i wanted. I kinda feel like an inmate of death (def-for all my black friends lol) row. Eating my last meal alone. I sat there at the bar eating a fried country steak with white gravy, mashed potatoes with brown gravy, and two huge slices of Texas toast. As i started to eat it, i was like WAIT!, i should have went to sonic. Holy crap what was i thinking. My last night to eat unhealthy, and i choose a country fried steak, and not a super sonic double cheeseburger. My life is over as i know it, i should have went to sonic. either way i press on. Tonight the lights went out at Sonic, tonight they hung a fat man. Tomorrow my journey will start. I'm ready, prepared, and set to go. I will admit I'm a little nervous, but i know that will be calmed in the morning. I had the privilege of spending some much need quality time with a very intelligent person, and they told me to love your self, and be confident. Sorry Sonic see ya in 8 weeks!
I feel so stupid. I thought that the boot camp started on Jan 17, but it actually started on Jan 10. This put me into a real panic, I'm not ready, i don't want to start yet, and i don't have the money yet. I count all trials as joy. I had to prepare some how for this nightmare I'm putting myself through. I'm sharing all of my deepest thoughts, wants, and desires with possibly the whole word. This in its self is a challenge. I'm so used to being such a hard ass and not opening up to many people. Who do i blame for this, my father Eddie. He was such a hard man to deal with, treated people like shit, treated me like shit, and only cared about himself. That's what i thought of him my whole life until he died. Me and my brother had the privilege of going to his apartment to "clean up" after he died. I expected to find a huge life insurance policy, loads of cash, some gold, and some nice clothes. What i found was myself in 40 years. We were the same person, thought the same way, acted the same way, folded our clothes the same way, cooked for 400 people even though it was for one. person the same way. All these years of ignoring him, i was really hurting myself not him. This person that i hated was myself. He taught me through his actions to trust no man. He taught me through is actions to open up to no man. He taught me through is actions to never let anyone walk over you. He taught me through his actions to always care about that might dollar bill. He taught me how to be him. I'm grateful for that lesson because i have the opportunity to turn things around. I don't have to be alone, mean, hateful, and sneaky. Its OK to love, its OK to share, its OK give. Papa thank you for teaching how to be a man. I wish i had learned that we were the same person 10 years ago, and I'm sure my life would be better. Life isn't destined to be a walk in the park. Life is more like climbing a mountain. Right now I'm in the valley ready to start the climb to victory. Wow i didn't mean to get all Dr. Phil on y'all. Tonight was my last night of freedom. The last night i got to eat what i wanted. I kinda feel like an inmate of death (def-for all my black friends lol) row. Eating my last meal alone. I sat there at the bar eating a fried country steak with white gravy, mashed potatoes with brown gravy, and two huge slices of Texas toast. As i started to eat it, i was like WAIT!, i should have went to sonic. Holy crap what was i thinking. My last night to eat unhealthy, and i choose a country fried steak, and not a super sonic double cheeseburger. My life is over as i know it, i should have went to sonic. either way i press on. Tonight the lights went out at Sonic, tonight they hung a fat man. Tomorrow my journey will start. I'm ready, prepared, and set to go. I will admit I'm a little nervous, but i know that will be calmed in the morning. I had the privilege of spending some much need quality time with a very intelligent person, and they told me to love your self, and be confident. Sorry Sonic see ya in 8 weeks!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Blogging before Da Jogging
Good Morning,
So this is the begining process of the journey im about to embark on. Krista will be the first to tell you that i cant spell. Its the truth i would love to blame Ms. Sables my fifth grade teacher, but we had spelling test every week. I would love to blame my mother but she never allowed ignorance in her house. I think ill just blame George W. Bush, he is the reason i cant spell. Ill have to apologize for the grammar as well it may be a little off. When i started typing i was looking for the little red line to appear, it didnt, and i cant seem to find the (ABC) button for spell check, so looks like im shit out of luck. I just found the abc button, all praises be unto God. So i have to say that i am a little excited about doing this boot camp and this blog thing. i feel so important, or i make myself seem so important either way im ready. I am nervous though, setting up this blog. It was telling me to read the instructions first, and watch the video, now yall know i didnt do that and im not. so im just gonna be like every other man in the world and figure this shit out on my own. i do hope that somebody will read this, ive put lots of effort into making sure everybody knows excalty what im doing. Along with the blog i will have a food journal too. I will be open and honest about the food im eating at all times. Hopefully when i feel like cheating and going to sonic to get a super sonic cheeseburger with extra cheese no mayo no ketchup add bacon, sonic size tots and a route 66 rootbeer, i wont because i know you bastards will be reading this, and some idiot will walk up to me at work and be like "matt you cant be eating sonic" and i can walk around pissed off...fun fun fun. Again i am excited..sorry for calling yall bastards and idiots. with all the being said there are a few people i would like to thank. First Lonny Johnson, he is my stepfather, but really he is my daddy..especially at firestone. He has diabetes ( that was a hard one) , and went on a weight loss journey and has lost lots of weight. He claims he is at his Military weight when he first joined, i say he has about 50 llbs to go. Second my mother, she has been wanting me to loose weight for a long time now, and even though im almost 30, i still want her approval on a lot of things, im not doing this for her but i know she will be able to sleep better at night knowing that i wont weight the combined weight of my other two siblings. Somebody else eat the red velvet. lol. Third facebook and photos, when you get tagged in a photo and all you see is your back fat thats when you know you need to loose weight. fourth my wonderful friends, i have some amazing friends, loving caring always there for me. I think sometimes they wish i would become famous so they can reap the benefits. " dont show up when i blow up". Seriously they are awesome. Im so controlling, demanding, bitchy, rude, mean and hateful at times...but they like me anyway. I promised myself that i would be open and honest with this journey, so if you dont like me cussing or saying inappropriate ( another hard one) things, please dont read this..i want to show raw emotion and let everyone know what it really feels like to go to weight loss boot camp. I just hope they put me in the back, so i can pass gas freely!
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